Are You Living TOO Comfortably?

by Steven on August 20, 2010 · No Comments

“How are you?”
“I’m Good.”

Such a standard greeting and such a token, throwaway answer. I bet you said it yourself – at least twice today.

But what’s behind “I’m good”?

Well, let’s try this on.

When you say “I’m good”, is it fair to say that most of the time what you’re really saying is: “I’m in my comfort zone”?

And if you’re in your comfort zone, you’re doing the same old stuff you’ve done for a very long time. You’re doing what you’re very good at.

You’re not growing.

I’d like you to reconsider how you view discomfort. Specifically, I’m talking about the discomfort you experience around people – the frustrations, the power losses and the times when you don’t get to have things the way you want them to be.

You may notice the temptation to make other people responsible for those situations – e.g.,

“Jonno frustrates me .. he is so lazy!”

Or:

“My boss is so controlling .. I hate him!”

I invite you to turn that on its head. Become wholly responsible for those situations, and view them as YOUR limitations in dealing with people:

“I’m noticing that I don’t have much ability to motivate people. With Jonno, for example, I have no idea how to put that energy and spark back into him.”

or:

“I’m really starting to notice that I don’t have much power around my boss. I just let him walk all over me and then I sulk behind him behind his back..”

And when you stand in that space of being wholly responsible for your limitations, don’t view yourself as complaining or whingeing or making yourself wrong.

Rather, allow yourself to be excited and moved by this discovery.

See it for what it is – a part of you which you were not present to before. A part which was invisible to you before, but which was limiting you severely in those situations because you were throwing away responsibility for its effects on to someone else.

And when someone asks you “how are you?”, I invite you to share that with people, rather than giving them the throwaway:

“I’m good. Busy.”

Share with them what you’re dealing with – and where you’re seeing your limits. Where you’re living outside your comfort zone.

Imagine how much more richness and depth that will create in your interactions. How much better people will get to know the real you, and reveal the real them to you.

Steven