Attraction Is Not A (Conscious) Choice.

by Jonathon on October 6, 2009 · No Comments

attraction isn't a choice Attraction is not a choice.

I’m sure you’ve heard that dating tip many times before – especially as it relates to meeting women.

But have you thought of how it relates to you?

I put it to you, that attraction is not yet a choice for you, EITHER.

Perhaps this is a good thing (I’m sure most people think so). But consider the contrary.

You see, when attraction isn’t a choice, you are really relying on somebody to do something, or match a certain ideal, in order for you to feel attraction toward them.

I call this being unconscious. Others would call it being externally dependent.

I’m sure you have your lists that may be miles long determining whether or not you will ALLOW yourself to experience attraction.

But in the end, it is simply that: something you experience.

You can experience it any time.

But why don’t you?

Is it possible that you don’t allow yourself to be attracted to women, and the reason you close yourself down from feeling attraction towards women – is because you don’t want to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for that feeling.

If you see an attractive woman in the distance, and you’re too shit-scared to approach her, you ignore that she is there.

Or, if she’s not conventionally attractive in the eyes of your peers, you’d rather just suppress that wonderful feeling and… NEXT!

The most unfortunate thing is that you’re cheating yourself of an incredible emotion.

Now, just because I’m suggesting that you are simply not choosing to feel attraction, it doesn’t mean that you’re doing something bad or wrong.

What I’m saying is that this default way of living may be preventing you from seeing what’s really going on.

It may be preventing you from really experiencing that woman in your vicinity.

She may not meet your criteria of attraction, but does that necessarily mean that she is incapable of being attractive?

You’re the one with the lenses on. You’re the only one that can perceive her as attractive or not attractive, and yet you prevent it from occurring because perhaps you don’t want to own up to it.

Maybe you’re saving yourself for that “perfect one”.

But every woman you meet is perfect.

And I see a lot of men reject countless women because they are actually afraid of the vulnerability that comes with feeling attraction: it’s easier to reject her before she can even get a sniff of thinking about rejecting you.

Exercising control in suppressing attraction is one way to ensure a lack of control when you really let go and embrace your attraction.

There’s nothing wrong with that feeling. Attraction is energizing.

Understand that you won’t die if you feel attracted to a woman. And you won’t die if she doesn’t reciprocate with attraction towards you.

You will still be in control, it’s OK.

Just right now you’re choosing not to be.

Try feeling as deeply attracted to each woman as you possibly can, and find out for yourself how incredible each day becomes.

Jonathon