..especially over those long distance deals.

When you build rapport with the customer, they are more likely to purchase something from you.

Rapport works in sales because neither you, nor the customer, expect to remain friends after the process..

..or have any sort of relationship that goes further than the customer taking out their wallet, and the salesperson providing the goods or services in exchange for the money.

Now this might be a fine way to approach a one night stand if that’s what you’re after..

..but if you’re after something that goes deeper, is a lot more satisfying, and lasts a lot longer, than “rapport building” just isn’t going to cut it.

I expect that because you’re reading this blog that you’ve been searching for something a little more fulfilling than shallow one night stand, after one night stand, with no real connection between two people.

If this is you, you need to throw out the rulebook on building rapport, and start to look at how you can better connect with women.

It’s the connection that allows two people to really see each other for who they are, and to bond knowing that they’re not on this journey alone.

It is the foundation of connection that builds solid grounds for a relationship with a woman.

And connection cannot occur without authenticity.

Some would tell you to ask lots of “qualifying” questions to find out if she’s the kind of woman you want in your life, and that way you’ll get to know her.

But you’ll never really get to know her this way, all you’ll get to know is her ability to answer your questions; her essence is lost in this process.

Not only that, but you’ve not given anything away about you in the process; all you’ve done is interview somebody, kept yourself tucked neatly away..

..with a barrier between you and a beautiful woman preventing either of you from connecting on any human level.

It’s not until you drop your act, cut the bullshit, and really let this woman in that you will ever get to know her, that you will ever get to connect with her, and that you will ever get to qualify her.

Because until you let this woman in…

…you know nothing about who she is at her core.

And it’s not until she responds to your vulnerability that you will ever know if the two of you are compatible; because if she can’t be present with you when you’ve shown her the deepest parts of your soul..

..how could she ever be present with you in a relationship?

How this woman responds to your vulnerability, your realness, and your authenticity, will tell you more about that woman in a second than any amount of rapport building, or qualifying her with questions.

And you can find this out within minutes of meeting her, simply by lowering your façade, and letting that woman really see into you, by being real, and remaining authentic, no matter how scary it may seem.

I guarantee you that when you do this the quality of woman in your life will drastically change for the better.

Jonathon

..to increase your power as a man, and to increase your visibility to the opposite sex..

..I offer you this practice, which has been inspired by David Deida’s teachings:

Feel the world.

Not esoterically though.

Literally expand your awareness by sending your feeling out, as wide as you can send your feeling, and downward, as far down as you can send your feeling.

Breathe it in.

What can you feel? What are you aware of?

Can you feel for the hearts of every human within your awareness? Can you feel her heart?

When you feel the world, the magnitude of your awareness is being channeled through you.

Bring the world to her through your feeling of it so that when she embraces you, she is embraced by the world, when she kisses you, she is kissing the world.

When you stand for something, the world stands for something.

Feeling the entire world let it shine through your eyes, and feel yourself bigger than your body and rest as that.

You are more than your body, your feelings, and internal workings.

You are much, much greater than all of that, so show it to everybody.

When you do this, everybody around you will feel the power of your presence, and you will know how big you really are.

Jonathon

But I must clarify: it’s not a “secret seduction technique” or whatever, so please do not adopt it as such.

If you approach meditation as a means to a certain end (attracting girls), you will be disappointed.

It is not a magic bullet of seduction.

But it just so happens that the practice of meditation helps get you outside of your analytical mind..

..And that is a very useful skill to have if you, say, are standing in the middle of a busy bar on a Saturday night, hopelessly stuck in your head.

Power of focus developed through meditation can help you get “unstuck”. Plus it can also ensure that you don’t get so “stuck” in the first place.

Since many of you may not be too familiar with meditation, I thought I’d give a quick run-down of a few different varieties of meditation.

That way you can try them all..

..and find one that works for you.

Since meditation works best when continually practiced, finding one that you actually look forward to doing can be half the battle won.

Unless otherwise stated, the following are to be performed sitting either on the floor, or in a chair. Lying down isn’t so conducive to the process.

If you find that your back and\or pelvis gets sore sitting on the floor, try elevating yourself by sitting on a cushion (this can take the pressure off).

Century Count.

This one is pretty simple, but can be challenging to complete. All you are doing for this exercise is becoming conscious of your breathing, and counting each breath until you reach 100.

If you forget which number you’re up to, you have to start again, aaalllll the way from the beginning.

Don’t worry, if you don’t get there the first few times, we’re not trained to focus on a task so intently for that period of time.

I personally enjoy doing this exercise as part of my morning routine as I travel to work, which can be very challenging with all the noise.

Basically this exercise really helps me focus with laser like precision throughout the day.

Mindfulness.

This form of meditation is somewhat of an observational form of meditation where you become “mindful” of everything occurring in the present moment:

Your breathing, your bodily sensations, your thoughts, the sounds surrounding you, the texture of the moment.

The aim is to not get caught up in the goings on, but to separate yourself and simply observe everything, even your thoughts.

Visualisation.

This form of meditation is a little difficult to do on your own, but there are some great audios around that can guide you through the process.

In Tantric practices, the practitioner would meditate upon the vision of themselves as a deity, or the most enlightened being they knew, and simply contemplate with that image in their minds eye.

Breathwork.

This seems to be one of the most common forms of meditation, and it simply involves becoming conscious of your breathing, and focusing on each breath as it enters and exits your body.

The aim is to maintain all focus on the breath and not get caught up in the noise of your thoughts.

Quite often you may find yourself drifting off in to thought, which is fine, you just simply bring yourself gently back to your breath when you notice that you’re caught up in your thoughts again.

Meditation With Feeling.

This practice really spun me out, and it’s something I’ll try from time to time. This meditation was recommended by David Deida in his “Way of the Superior Man” teaching sessions cd’s.

The meditation involves “meditating” or sending your awareness outside of your body. To try this, begin with the breathwork meditation, then send your awareness 10 feet in front of you, then 10 feet behind you, 10 feet below, and 10 feet above.

It’s a real head-spin, but quite unique.

There are many other forms of meditation, but I really only try to speak about things that I myself have experienced. If you’d like to learn more: Wikipedia and Google are your friends.

Enjoy the contemplation time.

Jonathon

That’s how I’ve come to know most men within the seduction community.

Unfortunately, just about all of the men I’ve interacted with in this community weren’t drawn to learn these skills out of a want to better the world.

I know, because I am one such person.

We are birthed into the seduction community out of a need to feel better, to want what we believe we deserve, to conquest, and to win.

Not once did we think about anybody else.

Not once did we stop to appreciate her.

Every single woman that walks past you igniting that fire of attraction in your belly is offering you a gift.

She gives you this gift just by existing, without asking anything in return.

She is everywhere, she gifts you always.

And our first instinct is to react, to either shrink in fear, or try to claim her as our own, to consume her and cast her aside.

At what point do we stop to consider what we can offer her (and an orgasm is not a worthy gift, she can do that on her own without us)?

Do we open ourselves to an opportunity of gifting, or do we close ourselves down due to our own definition of what should be?

What should be is irrelevant; it doesn’t exist, nor does it aid you in achieving what you want.

The question to ask is what can I be and what can I bring? Bring it for her though, not because of her.

Jonathon

I’ve seen many men attempt to manufacture this trust.

I’ve seen many companies created purely to create products that would teach men how to manufacture this trust.

But it all starts with one person: you. How well do you trust yourself? If you could leave yourself for one moment, and look at you, objectively:

Would you trust that man?

Your ability to trust and believe in your mission, your direction, your purpose, is what will set the benchmark for everybody else in your life.

If you can’t trust yourself, why would you expect anybody else to?

One thing that has become very common in today’s society is a complete lack of trust in our own innate masculine.

Above all else, learn to trust your masculine.

Learn to trust your masculine by cultivating it.

Involve yourself in a men’s group if you need to, or learn to rest as consciousness through meditation.

Learn not to be defined by the limit of your physical body; expand your awareness beyond your body, and bring that.

The more you trust yourself, your direction, your purpose, and your intention, the more she will be drawn to you.

The man who knows where he’s going – THAT’S the man she wants to be with. That is what she will have no issues surrendering to.

I don’t offer this to you as theory, I offer it to you as a path I have walked, and continue to walk every day.

Some days are easier than others, but the practice of expansion is always present.

Try it on and see how the world around you responds. You may be very surprised by the ease of the ‘result’.

Jonathon

Your daily duties and obligations, and your social commitments.

Sometimes it’s very easy to forget who you are.

How well do you know yourself?

Are you conscious of each decision you make, completely aware of the world around you?

Or do you spend most of your time in auto-pilot, simply reacting to the world around you based on the habits instilled in you as a child?

How clear are you on who you are, what you stand for in this world, where you intend to be 10 years from now?

One day 10 years from now will arrive, and it will either be the product of your unconscious habits, or it will be a product of your creation.

If you ever get lost, take a few minutes to just sit, with no distraction, and contemplate the big picture: who do I want to be in ten years, and how would that person make this next decision?

Your outward identity will always be a reflection of the clarity of your core.

To move through the world with power, unswayed by the opinion of others (or what you think others think of you), and guided by your deep sense of purpose..

..will dictate how you speak to people, what clothes you wear, your ability to commit, your sense of happiness, when you eat, what you eat, and to what scale you’ll engage this game called LIFE.

It will touch everything.

It will define everything.

Not being clear on your core will have you react to everything, it will tarnish everything with its ambiguity, and it will have you live your life swayed by others.

That isn’t really a terrible thing, but it’s also not what you want: otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this blog.

So take a moment, sit down in silence, and spend a little time contemplating the kind of man you wish to be.

Perhaps even drafting a plan of what you’d like your life to look like over the next 30 years will do it for you. But most importantly, take the time to know who you really are at your core.

Jonathon

When you realize that your life is about to end, and you look back, what is really going to matter to you?

Will you care about being rejected by a gorgeous woman in front of her friends?

Will you be concerned about what people thought of you?

Are these reasons important enough to not do what you want?

How would you feel about not living your life because of fear when you’re on your deathbed?

Deep down, you really know what direction you want to head in. You have an inner compass that will always guide you truthfully, and you can activate it by contemplating your death.

Worried about approaching that woman over there? Great, that’s perfectly normal. But will that fear be relevant when you look back on your life?

Or will you care more about the fact that you did approach that girl even though you were afraid?

Think about any question you may post up on a forum, anything you may ask advice from the other men for, and before you post, ask your compass by asking yourself:

“Would I really be that concerned if I was dying right now?”

You may be very surprised at the clarity of the answer that unfolds for you.

If in doubt, pretend to die, and see how important those doubts are.

Jonathon

If you think about it, the only thing that has ever held you back from approaching that gorgeous woman has been an assumption.

Two assumptions, actually.

The first is that you assume whatever it is you assume about the scenario – e.g., “She’s with her friends and doesn’t want to be disturbed”…

Or, “That dude is probably her boyfriend”…

Or, “She’s too busy, I’ll approach later”.

The second assumption is that you assume your first assumption is truth.

How do you like that one?

It is a real game changer though, because those original thoughts can’t exist anymore as fact: they are simply noise that is now irrelevant to this scenario.

You see, when you think, “I can’t approach that woman because she’s with a dude who is probably her boyfriend”, that can’t mean anything anymore, because you don’t know.

You always never knew, you’re just realizing that as the only fact that matters now.

When you realize this, those thoughts can’t stop you anymore, because you know nothing.

So now, instead of doing nothing, you simply know nothing, which frees you up to do something: go up and find out.

You never know what opportunity could be awaiting you.

Jonathon

Learned from my many mistakes, and undertaken many personal practices that have helped develop my path.

One thing I’ve noticed that sits with me today that was definitely missing a year ago is a certain intensity in my gaze.

With this new development, however, has come an interesting occurrence:

Most women that I’ve met find it difficult to be with.

I’ve noticed two types of reactions:

1. The women I talk to find it difficult to maintain eye-contact, or
2. They try to “out-stare” me

This has been particularly interesting, especially in the second instance.

If I find that my intensity initially makes her feel uncomfortable, I can tone it down in a second (hell I spent 23 years without it, it’s not hard to revert back to)…

And ramp things up as she starts to feel more comfortable.

But in the second instance, where she meets me with a staring competition, I notice a couple of things.

The first being how effortless it is for me to now “look through” her veneer. It’s as if this place was where I was always meant to rest.

But for her, it’s a real effort to maintain that stare, it’s forceful, even.

I’ve found myself in the unique position of actually having something I care deeply enough about to “qualify” women on…

…rather than just pretending the way I learned to through the rules of the seduction community.

VERY different results this time.

This intensity has developed as I have developed my masculine core, my consciousness, my own depth, and my understanding of the greater things at work in the universe…

…rather than being distracted by all the surface ripples of the superficial interactions I once engaged in.

But most of the women I’ve met can’t be with that, and I thought that it was because women of depth were few and far between.

Then I got off my high-horse…

And started to realize that it had nothing to do with the fact that there were no “deep” women around. It had everything to do with the fact that I was not allowing their depth.

If she couldn’t be with my intensity, it was not because she was incapable;

It was because she wasn’t comfortable enough to meet me at that depth. In other words, she needed something from me that I was not providing her with.

In the past, with this new skill of “intensity” I would have wielded it like a powerful sword, cutting swathes through the women that could not meet me;

I would have used it as an instant disqualifier.

Never focusing on her needs, and only ever focusing on my own.

But now, again through the wisdom of women, I’ve come to realize that only I would have been the person missing out, because I wasn’t allowing an opportunity to blossom.

The potential for a connection had always been there, I’d just been denying it by not giving it a chance.

Most PUA’s “next” should they face no immediate reaction, and perhaps you do too, especially when you’re confident of your newly developed skills.

But in doing this, you’re missing an incredible opportunity to meet and connect with somebody at a deeper level, and sometimes that has nothing to do with whether or not you are intimate.

But I’d much rather 5 minutes of deep connection with a woman on a platonic level, than 2 hours of surface level elaborate masturbation through a one night stand.

I’m guessing deep down that connection is all you’ve ever really wanted:

You just thought sex would unlock it.

Don’t let your new tricks be the very barrier they are supposed to be dissolving.

Jonathon

I’m being serious here.

You see a gorgeous woman. You KNOW you’re attracted to her because of the way you feel when you see her.

And yet, you do not approach this woman.

Not because you are too scared to.

Not because logistically you couldn’t.

But because you made a conscious decision to appreciate her beauty, but not need to take more from her.

Have you ever noticed that it doesn’t matter how tired you are, how shitty your day may be, or how much physical pain you may be in, if a woman walks by that lights your fire…

EVERYTHING is incredible.

Everything becomes manageable again. Everything is going to be all right.

You’ve been uplifted, and for however long it lasts for you, THAT moment is bliss.

That, gentlemen, is Her gift to you. The way that you feel when She inspires you, is one of the most precious gifts.

Savour it for as long as it lasts, because it may be fleeting (as with anything in this life).

But while it lingers, it is the very thing that reminds you how gifted you are that you are able to experience such a thing.

And all she does is exist…

And THAT is what she’s capable of.

The only question you need to ask yourself now is: “What can I offer in return?”

Jonathon