Can She Meet You? Can You Meet Her?

by Jonathon on January 21, 2010 · No Comments

eye-contact Over the past year I’ve had the fortune of meeting many different women…

Learned from my many mistakes, and undertaken many personal practices that have helped develop my path.

One thing I’ve noticed that sits with me today that was definitely missing a year ago is a certain intensity in my gaze.

With this new development, however, has come an interesting occurrence:

Most women that I’ve met find it difficult to be with.

I’ve noticed two types of reactions:

1. The women I talk to find it difficult to maintain eye-contact, or
2. They try to “out-stare” me

This has been particularly interesting, especially in the second instance.

If I find that my intensity initially makes her feel uncomfortable, I can tone it down in a second (hell I spent 23 years without it, it’s not hard to revert back to)…

And ramp things up as she starts to feel more comfortable.

But in the second instance, where she meets me with a staring competition, I notice a couple of things.

The first being how effortless it is for me to now “look through” her veneer. It’s as if this place was where I was always meant to rest.

But for her, it’s a real effort to maintain that stare, it’s forceful, even.

I’ve found myself in the unique position of actually having something I care deeply enough about to “qualify” women on…

…rather than just pretending the way I learned to through the rules of the seduction community.

VERY different results this time.

This intensity has developed as I have developed my masculine core, my consciousness, my own depth, and my understanding of the greater things at work in the universe…

…rather than being distracted by all the surface ripples of the superficial interactions I once engaged in.

But most of the women I’ve met can’t be with that, and I thought that it was because women of depth were few and far between.

Then I got off my high-horse…

And started to realize that it had nothing to do with the fact that there were no “deep” women around. It had everything to do with the fact that I was not allowing their depth.

If she couldn’t be with my intensity, it was not because she was incapable;

It was because she wasn’t comfortable enough to meet me at that depth. In other words, she needed something from me that I was not providing her with.

In the past, with this new skill of “intensity” I would have wielded it like a powerful sword, cutting swathes through the women that could not meet me;

I would have used it as an instant disqualifier.

Never focusing on her needs, and only ever focusing on my own.

But now, again through the wisdom of women, I’ve come to realize that only I would have been the person missing out, because I wasn’t allowing an opportunity to blossom.

The potential for a connection had always been there, I’d just been denying it by not giving it a chance.

Most PUA’s “next” should they face no immediate reaction, and perhaps you do too, especially when you’re confident of your newly developed skills.

But in doing this, you’re missing an incredible opportunity to meet and connect with somebody at a deeper level, and sometimes that has nothing to do with whether or not you are intimate.

But I’d much rather 5 minutes of deep connection with a woman on a platonic level, than 2 hours of surface level elaborate masturbation through a one night stand.

I’m guessing deep down that connection is all you’ve ever really wanted:

You just thought sex would unlock it.

Don’t let your new tricks be the very barrier they are supposed to be dissolving.

Jonathon