Heck, I remember serving a drink or six to many loyal AI subscribers and customers over the years. It’s been great.

But all that has recently come to an abrupt end.

About a week ago I decided that I was done with bartending.

Finita. Kaput. Endski.

Why? Well, because I felt like I was in an “open relationship” with that job:

- I only did that job to get a wage
- There was no connection with the work
- I didn’t worry too much about my performance
- I didn’t care if I got fired – because I could easily get another job
- I was often drunk before, during and after work
- I would get called in at odd hours
- And I’d always turn up late

Why was it this way?

Well, I ended up having that relationship to my job because at some stage I decided that what I really wanted was an easy, fun, comfortable evening job which paid my bills..

..So that I could have the freedom to work on AI during daytime hours (which I consider my main gig, my passion and partial manifestation of my purpose).

However, I realised that there was a breakdown of integrity in this setup. See, my motives for doing bartending could be summed up as:

“I want to get a biggest possible wage for the minimum amount of work possible.”

In other words, I was being a drain on the world in that area of my life.

Recently I realised that being a drain at work is a bit like watching internet porn – it’s comfortable and pleasant but it offers little satisfaction. It’s empty.

So it was time to transform that part of my life.

And who doesn’t want to get more results from our job? More money. More satisfaction. A promotion. Boss’ acknowledgment.

When it comes to getting more results, what is the first thing that we usually focus on? That’s right, we immediately change our actions, right?

We try to work longer, harder, we endure more of our boss’ shit, we look for a better paying job, we move overseas “to try to find more opportunities” .. and so on.

If we were to put this madness into an equation, it would look something like this:

ACTIONS -> RESULTS

Different actions will yield different results, right? Sure.

We also use the same formula to quit smoking, save up money, lose weight, pick up beautiful women, be better fathers, deal with difficult family members, get a firmer 6-pack.. you name it!

Does this strategy work?

Well, of course not. Reality is very cruel to such vanities.

Why?

Because there is one crucial element missing from that formula. And that element is one of Being:

BEING -> ACTIONS -> RESULTS

Your Actions and Results will correlate directly with who you’re Being.

And if who I’m Being is a man who seeks a cosy job where I’m happy to do the bare minimum so that I can pay my bills..

..then my actions will correlate with that – I’ll be an average performer, I’ll do the minimum necessary to avoid getting into shit, I’ll have no passion or zeal for the job..

..I’ll cut corners when no-one is looking..

..I’ll have no pride in my work.

And my results will also correlate with my actions: I’ll feel unsatisfied, I won’t get the good shifts, I’ll be passed for promotion, I won’t be offered responsibility and won’t get paid as much as I could be.

What’s the solution?

Well, I could intervene at the level of Actions – and motivate myself to get to work on time, not slack off, not get drunk, do the best possible job .. but as we have already discovered, it doesn’t work.

Why doesn’t it work?

Because who I’m Being – who is creating all those Actions – is still Being a drain on the universe. I’m still someone who wants to be cosy, comfy, and get paid for it.

Which is what led me to let go of Being a drain in that area of my life. I realised that results are never produced by Being in a comfort zone.

It was time for a shift. Now, what I wanted was another hospitality job which was flexible enough to fit around AI.

However, fuck being cosy, being comfortable and fuck knowing what I’m doing. Fuck being a big fish in a small pond. Which meant leaving bartending.

It was time to dive head first into a job which I wasn’t sure how to do right, and learn to swim in it, so to speak, before I ran out of air.

It was time to live outside my comfort zone. Who I was Being now could be described as:

“GIVE ME A FUCKING CHALLENGE”.

I knew that I would attract a job which fit in with that agenda. However, what I ended up attracting was pretty extraordinary.

I couldn’t think of a job that’s more suited to my needs right now. I’m working as a waiter in a little Italian restaurant, considered to be best in Sydney – right around the corner from my house in Potts Point.

The menu is in Italian, just about everyone who works there is also Italian, there’s real passion oozing out of every pore, the team love their work and at the end of the shift there is a real sense of accomplishment.

The shifts work perfectly around AI, and the pay + tips are more than I need.

Here’s the weird part.

When I walked into this restaurant to see if they’re looking for staff, I already knew I was going to work there.

On a sidenote, have you ever met a girl, and experienced the same thing?

Those moments where seconds after meeting her, you know you’re going to hook up. You like her. She likes you. You know that she knows that you like her. She knows that you know..

You know that at some yet-to-be-defined point in the future you’re going to destroy her in bed. She knows that you want to. And she wants you to. And it’s all good.

That’s integrity at play. You’re NOT operating at the level of Actions – “How can I get her to feel attracted to me?”, but at the level of Being – “This is me. I like you. And I like you even if you don’t like me.”

Getting this job was just like that.

Here’s the lesson I learned:

Results are driven by having integrity in this system:

BEING -> ACTIONS -> RESULTS

When you have integrity, results have no choice but to be produced. If you really want to live your edge, you could expand this system to include Thoughts:

BEING -> THOUGHTS -> ACTIONS -> RESULTS

I invite you to notice when your Thoughts and Actions are out of alignment.

When you do, then you may want to notice that who you’re Being in that moment may not be who you’re projecting out there as Actions. Rather, you’re probably using Actions to cover up your true Being.

If you do that, your Results will suffer.

This is the reason why PUA stuff doesn’t work. It’s all Action trying to inform Being. It may look good on the surface – and you may even get laid – but there is no integrity in it.

It’s not going to transform you, expand you or nurture you – and getting women that way is a constant struggle uphill.

Most people never get Results in life because they see this formula the wrong way around. They look at it like this:

RESULTS -> ACTIONS -> THOUGHTS -> BEING

Their logic can be summed up in a sentence like this:

“Once I get more money, and have the dream job, and learn how to pick up girls, I’ll be able to do anything, I’ll be more confident, I’ll be in a position to speak my mind and I’ll be happy, open and free.”

Of course, that is the norm by which 99.9% people live. And you know what? There is nothing wrong with that. You can live a pretty decent life by following this mantra.

But we’re not here to live “decent” lives.

We’re here to realise our fullest potential, and to be extraordinary men.

Here’s what I really got from this: you can’t anything that you don’t have already. So to create Results in your life, you first have to start Being. And everything else will follow automatically.

I invite you to start noticing areas in your life where that system of integrity is out of alignment – and it will help you see why why you’re not producing the results you want in those areas.

And if you want to find out more about how to start Being someone who creates results and lives with integrity, you will find that Seduction Community Sucks book will give you a solid kickstart in that direction.

Steven

I find the girl of my dreams.

She’s everything I’ve ever looked for.

We get into a relationship and everything going sweet.

Then it happens. You can feel it in the wind. Things just start to go down. And down. And down…

Eventually there’s nothing left to salvage except a box of your possessions left lying on her door step.

If you’ve ever been in this position and wondered how to keep her (or get her back for that matter), then this is the article for you.

Time in the seduction community usually follows a common trend: you spend months and months developing your openers, your routines..

..all your techniques painstakingly and then finally, you meet an amazing girl! You’ve got her number, and you know it’s time to call.

Nervously, you pick up the phone: “Hi…”

It goes much better than you thought – she remembers you, in fact, she actually sounds like she wants to go out with you!

Dinner, drinks, whatever takes your fancy, laughing and flirting. It’s so on it’s ridiculous…

“It’s time to go, come with me.”

“OK…”

Back at your place: fumbling with the keys, a look, a glance, passion, intensity, clothing strewn over the entire house and broken furniture everywhere…

…You finally collapse together, sweaty and exhausted just as the sun begins to rise.

Waking up the next morning, it still feels like a dream.

Her naked body, pressed against yours.Those lips, those eyes, wow… This girl is one of a kind. You’ve never been so happy… Then, from nowhere, the little voice in your head starts to fire up:

“You’ve got her, now how are you going to keep her?”

If you’ve ever had this nagging voice cause you doubt, this is a secret you need to learn.

Now, there are lots of different techniques out there for keeping her interested. Playing herd to get, being high status, all of those little games but really, they’re just the symptoms.

If you want to never have to deal with this issue again, you need to get to the core.

Lets have a look at that.

So why would she want to stay with you? What could possibly convince her that you’re the kind of guy to spend more and more time with?

The answer is so simple: the same way you got her!

She fell for you because of the amazing, fun, open guy that you are, why would you change that when you get into a relationship?

I see so many guys completely change who they are and what they do when the find the girl of their dreams.

They start trying so desperately hard to make sure she doesn’t leave and you know what? It’s the one big thing that drives her away!

It sucks all the excitement, all the adventure, all the passion out of the relationship.

Now I’m not saying ‘just ignore her…”

But always keep your focus on the most important person in the relationship – you. You need to do what you need to do to make yourself happy.

You have to come to the table with a full cup.

Otherwise, you’re going to be relying on her to make you happy and that’s completely unfair.

How would you feel if someone made you solely responsible for their happiness? Does that sound like a fun place to be? No, I don’t think so either.

Keep being free, keep opening, keep growing, keep living your life and take her on your adventure with you!

LoGun

Just ask any woman – and almost every single, without fail, will say…

That she wants a lover who’s taller than her.

If you’re short, you’ve got almost no chance. Or so it seems on the surface…

I remember sitting in one of the local Sydney bars a couple of years ago.

This was when Steve and I first started going out. As usual, I’d arrived on time (as I said I would), and Steven was running horribly late.

I’d been working on some new material over the last couple of weeks, and I thought his would be a perfect opportunity to test it out (because the words that I use are the most important thing in any interaction…)

I spotted two beautiful women sitting on a couch and decided it was time to unleash the fury! Without hesitation I hit them with my highly secret and patented ‘Hi!’ opener.

Result? INSTANT ATTRACTION!

After this hooked, I used another secret technique to transition into a normal conversation because I’d developed 9 points of calibration in the last week…

So I could tell that this is what the set needed if I was going to be able to execute an f-close (I’ve got an eBook on this is you want more details, hehe).

Things were going smoothly thanks to my accelerated calibration when I hit my first roadblock.

Mid sentence, they both stopped talking and turned their attention towards the entrance like Brad Pitt walked in, naked, with $100 bills stick to his body with chocolate body paint.

Turns out it was Brad. This was my first exposure to the sway tall guys hold over women.

Some 6′6″ pretentious bastard came swaggering through the entrance and women started wetting themselves all over the place.

Slosh, slosh, slosh, you could hear his feet hitting the libidinous puddles as women start dropping like flies. It took half a dozen ambulances to clear the sexual carnage strewn across the bar.

I didn’t need to listen to him talk to know that he was completely full of himself. You could see it in the way he walked, the smug bastard…

So I called Steven over.

“Is that your friend? He’s so tall!” Apparently blushing was in this season…

But having my advanced diploma in micro-calibration and sub-communication I knew exactly what they were trying to say and was able to respond appropriately to their intended message.

“Yes, I agree that he looks exactly like a praying mantis…’

Thank god that Steven’s lack of game managed to get him blown out in 30 seconds and I was able to get back on track with deploying my ultimate, killer, fire, destruction, death bomb routine.

“So what is it about tall guys…?”

The girls responded with a degree of self awareness that I was a common theme with these girls “Umm… He’s just so tall”

Time to try a different path:

“OK, so how do you feel around tall guys?” It turns out this is a much more effective question to ask these girls.

“I just feel so safe, so secure, so protected around them. I can just be girly when I’m around them because they’re so strong.”

And this is where this whole height mystery started to unravel for me.

This is where I started to see why there are some guys out there who aren’t the tallest in the world yet have hoards of beautiful women literally fighting over them.

Like every object you desire in life, there’s an underlying feeling that you’re chasing.

The same rings true for women and tall guys. It’s not the height that they’re actually attracted to, it’s the feeling of safety and security that they’re after and they just automatically associate it with tall guys.

So, what’s the good news for you?

Well, you can now get surgeons to painfully sever every bone in your body and set them a few millimetres apart so that when they heal, they fill in those spaces, making you just a few centimetres taller.

If they do this enough times, you’re going to be the height that most women swoon over.

Or, you can learn to create a space where women feel safe, secure, and protected and you’ll never have worry about going through months or years of painful studying, learning, watching DVD’s, field testing new structures, boot camps and posting on forums…

Sorry, I mean painful operations.

And how do you do that? Well, this is a great place to start: http://www.innergamechallenge.com

And just one more thing to consider, if this applies to height, what do you think it says about money, cars, powerful jobs?

Hmm…

LoGun

I joined a seduction lair.

I even took a bootcamp.

I went out and approached women. I even worked on my inner game.

And yet, I still don’t have choice with women.

WHAT AM I MISSING?”

That is the question which usually brings guys to this blog. They want to have tight game, and for some reason they still don’t.

If that’s you, the good news #1 is that you’re not alone.

And good news #2 is – many guys find the answer to that question here. Which means you might, too.

You’re not a beginner.

So, first things first. If you’re here, you probably already know “the answers”.

By that I mean, you’re familiar with do’s and dont’s of seduction theory.

You’ve been told that supplicating is bad, and being an alpha male is good.

You know that being needy will not get you far around women, and approaching women with an abundance mentality is good.

But let me guess .. for some reasons “knowing” these answers for you doesn’t translate into being able to act in line with that knowledge around women.

Here’s why:

“When you squeeze an orange, you get orange juice”,

I can’t remember who said it. But the meaning behind this expression can be profound…

That is, your true colours come to the surface when you’re under pressure.

So, you can sit behind your computer and debate pickup artist theory all day, or flirt casually with a woman you’re not really into.

But does it all fall apart when you approach a truly beautiful woman that you’re into? Do you become an uncalibrated, nervous wreck?

It’s OK if you do.

But I want to ask you a bold question – if that is the case, then how much growth has REALLY occurred in your life as a result of learning all that seduction theory?

Did all the promises of women falling at your feet come true?

Or perhaps you were slightly misled on the way to becoming a so-called pick up artist?

Maybe, but we’re not here to focus dwell on what COULD have been.

And we’re not here to indulge in “dating guru bashings”.

(Although we do take the piss of them sometimes, when their advice is likely to make you worse with women…

Or they “reveal” err… ’shockingly powerful dating tips’ which are well and truly rubbish).

What we’re really here for is to, as you guessed it, discover the real reasons why the dating advice you have learned until now hasn’t worked for you, and then set you on the path of authentic growth as a man.

I’ll give you a hint: the reason the results you were promised didn’t come true is because 99% of advice you’ve learned merely treated the symptoms of deeper inner game issues.

Which leaves us with a choice to make: to continue treating the symptoms, or to take care of the underlying causes, once and for good.

It is your choice, and forever will be.

And you’re the one who will live the life which will be played out as a result of choices you choose to make.

One more thing. Why should you listen to us, you might be asking?

Well, we don’t insist that you do.

We’re not qualified gurus of any kind, we don’t claim to know all the answers.

But we did stumble across some cool inner game stuff like this and this which nobody else online was teaching. And it worked for us!

Then we showed it to a few of our friends, and it’s helped them, too to do what they want around women.

Oh, and helped this fellow man. And these guys (scroll down a bit).

And then the word kinda spread, and we started getting swamped with emails.

To cope with the demand, we started this blog and the inner game forums.

Here you’ll find inner game tips on approaching women, being free around women and having organic interactions with women and a lot more.

You can also take part in a 7-day inner game course, which we designed to help you pinpoint your inner game roadblocks.

At the moment, it is still free.

All this is very cool and humbling, because we never thought it would get so big.

This blog that you’re reading now is not a database of “pickup advice”.

Rather, it is a journal of our own self-discovery, lessons, frustration, embarrassments, weird stories, failures and successes.

It is the medium through which we can communicate with you as we journey to the very bottom of what it means to be a man…

…and seek for answers to questions that each man needs to answer to himself in order to die complete.

And when I say “complete”, I mean surrounded by love and abundance. And by that I mean, abundance which stems from within, from realising your own deepest truths.

Not by collecting stuff / gadgets / women to temporarily quell your feelings of insignificance.

If you’re the kind of man whose resonates with what I just wrote, we’re glad to have you here.

And if you’re not, it’s OK too, but you’ll probably find this place a bit dry and boring. There are no quick fixes, super-secret tricks or magic “openers” here.

The stuff you’ll find here is difficult to pigeonhole, but if you insist, I’d say it’s a weird blend of spirituality and inner game.

At the end of the day, we are here because want to be more successful with women. But to “to pick up a woman” can mean many different things to a man.

It can mean to distract yourself from how much your life sucks. Or it can mean to go on a mutual journey of growth. Or it can mean to give her what she needs in that moment.

There are no right or wrong meanings, and no-one here will judge you for where you’re at in life.

But the important thing to realise is, whatever meaning you ascribe to picking up a woman, will determine the outcome of your interaction with her, long before you approach her.

And no amounts of tricks or methods will make any difference.

Not in any kind of meaningful or sustainable way, anyway. You may learn how to trick a couple of women, which means you’ll forever be playing the “numbers game”.

Screw that. You’re more than that. Well, we think so, anyway.

Your journey starts when you choose for it to start. When will that be?

Steven

You know them:

The ones that make you think “How good would it be to bang her”…

As you fantasize about every little detail of her incredible ass, gorgeous legs, unbelievable rack, and impeccable figure.

Have you ever had that fantasy realised? To actually achieve what you’ve wanted for so long?

I have.

And it wasn’t actually anything like I thought it would be. It was just… normal.

In fact, it was just the same as every other non-fantasy I’d ever experienced.

The difference this time was that I had a mental image of the fantasy in my head to compare my real experience to.

I was still the same, I operated the same, the experience was the same with every other non-fantasy I’d experienced.

And this whole time, for some reason I thought it would be different.

What I found, however, was that being caught up in the fulfillment of this fantasy..

I was less present.

It was like I was constantly flitting between the image in my head, and the image in front of me. In my head there were all these other feelings going on.

In reality, it was exactly the same as any other moment.

I wasn’t present because of this fantasy of mine. As a result, she missed out too. With my lack of presence, she closed down, and lost that radiant femininity I was so attracted to in the first place.

So not only did she miss out, due to my fantasy, but I did too.

It was quite the conundrum.

If nothing else, a valuable lesson was gained: all that time spent in fantasy world is utterly fruitless if it stops you from engaging in and enjoying the current moment.

This current moment – THAT’S where all the action is.

That’s where emotion, and feeling, and living occurs, and yet we’re so willing to give all of that up in a flash for something our mind wants to see.

I feel sorry for my fantasy, because it’s not real.

But I am.

Jonathon

And then jumped online to learn a tonne of dating advice.

Maybe you even purchased a DVD program which taught you “fundamentals” of attraction. Or two?

You were lured by the idea of becoming a “pickup artist”. C’mon admit it, I was too.

But why is it that so many guys who embark on the “PUA path” never see the success with women that they thought they would?

Let me offer you a perspective.

The reason we were shit with women at some stage in our life is because we did things that we thought would get women to like us.

We supplicated, we put up with behaviour in women which we would not have tolerated in men, we bought presents for women out of need, rather than sincerity.

We were not being TRULY ourselves.

Instead, we moulded into whatever shape we thought would get us the end result – the girl.

That is the syndrome of being – as my girlfriend put it the other day – a walking doormat. Or, in seduction community terms, a ‘nice guy’.

Is it any wonder that the women rejected those spineless versions of ourselves which we served up to them?

Along came the seduction community.

“Don’t be needy, don’t supplicate, act indifferent – until she qualifies herself to you, be high-value, don’t talk about Warcraft, lean back, here’s a routine you can use as an opener.”

Check.

So, the words that the PUAs are saying to women have come a long way from the bad old days of…

“Can I buy you a drink?”

And PUAs have even gone as far as shifting the mindsets behind their words. “Don’t be attached to the outcome, give value”, they say.

But are those shifts are as profound as they seem? Let’s investigate.

Why are PUAs being “non-needy”, “non-supplicating”, “non-attached to the outcome”? Is it not to create attraction? Which means, they’re still doing their tricks just so that…

..women would like them!

Is it progress? Or is it just more of marching on the spot, albeit in a different uniform?

Are PUAs being 100% honest with the women they talk to?

When was the last time a PUA walked up to a woman and said:

“This is kinda random, but I thought you’re really cute and I’ll feel really fulfilled after I spend a night with you, so let me demonstrate some qualities of a non-needy guy, ready?”

It seems that as we embarked on this journey of “becoming better with women” we have proceeded to learn how to pick up women, without paying much attention to WHY we’re doing it.

And in doing so, we forgot to seek advice which helps us become truly fulfilled – and then approach a woman with a cup that is full.

Instead, a trap that a lot of us have fallen into many times – myself included – is that of “I want to learn how to pick up women – because that will make me feel fulfilled”.

Is that REAL fulfillment?

Is that real NON-NEEDY, ALPHA behaviour?

Just on that note, I was sitting in traffic the other day, and a guy pulled up alongside on a Harley motorcycle.

One look at him revealed that underneath the worn leathers, the thin helmet and the barking exhaust of his admittedly cool wheels, he was still a dork.

Some Harley salesman tapped into his pain and sold him on the idea that the motorcycle was going to make up for the shortcomings he felt on the inside.

It didn’t work.

Don’t let some dating guru sell you on the idea that once you learn how to be a PUA, you’ll be any less of a dork than you were when you were being a walking doormat.

Steven

When you’re out and about – at work, in a social situation, doing your daily duties…

How much of you does the world get to see?

We all have our faults. Every single one of us.

And yet, we’re all walking around pretending like we don’t. That nothing is wrong, and “don’t talk to me”.

It’s as if we have this fear that somebody, at any time, is going to get too close, and then –

“BAM!” – it’s all over.

Why do we do that?

We hide so much of ourselves from everybody else, putting up barrier after barrier of “protection” from the outside world.

But what we don’t realise is that those barriers weigh more heavily on us than they do “protect” us from anything.

How on earth does not expressing yourself fully around anybody really “protect” you?

Is that not the definition of actually being stifled, rather than nurtured?

Why does it seem easier to maintain this façade, than it does to simply let all the barriers go and just be raw. Which should be effortless, right?

But somehow it doesn’t seem that way at all.

So perhaps try something out: what are you actually trying to hide from everybody? I mean, you’re putting a lot of effort into it, so why not put your finger on exactly what it is.

What is it?

And why do you hide it?

Is it really worth it?

Jonathon

The images, the smells, the sensations, the sounds, the tastes. All of it.

Look around at this reality and know this: you MAKE it exist –

For without *YOU* acting as the conduit, or the interpreter, it would all just be atoms floating in space.

No form, no beauty. YOU are the key to the beauty of life. And that is your perfection.

And yet we forget this – almost eternally.

We are all here at AI because we feel that there is something missing in conventional wisdom of seduction, dating and pickup advice.

*I* am here because I believe these boys DO offer something more. Something far deeper than the other communities of seduction gurus out there.

But I believe we often forget the one thing that can free us…

- the knowing that this is just a ride.

A ride that you can step away from at any time with true presence. We often become so caught up in the repetitive tasks of our lives that we forget about this ride.

And we become the slaves of it, and not the experiencers.

Know now, that you will never be more complete than you already are. You may find ways to FUNCTION DIFFERENTLY – for example, some of those ways may make you more attractive to women..

But you will never be more perfect than this.

But do not be afraid of this perfection: there is no need to hide from it – as we have been doing our whole lives. Embrace it.

Embrace it with this simple exercise: Learn to listen.

Learn to listen, right now, in your room, office, bathroom, wherever you are reading this. What is ACTUALLY going on in the background as you read these words?

What sounds can you hear? What sensations can you feel in your hands? Your arms? Your legs? Your brow? What smells can you recognise? And what smells CAN’T you recognise?

What does it feel like in your body to EXPERIENCE, without judgment?

Look at something that is familiar to you.

Perhaps it is your mouse, or your keyboard. But examine it as if you’d never seen this thing before. Does it look like this to everybody else, or is this just your interpretation of that object?

If it is just your interpretation, where did it come from? Why is it that you see this thing in THIS form, and not some other? How is this object of atoms interpreted by you?

- Touch it, but actually FEEL it.
- Watch it, but actually SEE it.
- Sniff it, but actually SMELL it.
- Listen, learn to listen, and actually HEAR.
- Lick it, but actually TASTE it.

Do you see how incredible this matrix is?

How curiously perfect it all fits together, and all because you have been gifted as interpreter, observer, and experiencer.

It is one thing to know your perfection, but it is another to reveal others.

The next time you see a beautiful woman, and you are afraid of approaching her, ask yourself this question: “Is it her beauty that scares me? Or is it my responsibility of calling her forth to reveal her perfection that scares me?”

Are you afraid of that perfection? Do you feel yourself, as a perfect being, unworthy of that perfection?

I know I’m scared shitless.

But that just makes it more fun, exciting, and freeing when I still approach anyway. Again, beautiful gifts of emotion and feeling that I interpret, and experience.

Without me, they are nothing.

The catch is – all women are beautiful. Every single one of them. Some don’t realise it. Some show it more than others. But it is our gift as men, to call them forward to show their beauty.

The beauty of the eternal feminine.

Understand your perfection, and give her the gift of revealing hers.

That is one of our many gifts as masculine, perfect, beings.

Learn to listen, and you will see it as I do. It’s already inside of you. Reveal your perfection to yourself.

Jonathon

Whilst giving up you does mean giving up your wants, needs, and tendencies, it also means giving up your insecurities, fears, and shames.

And without one, the other cannot exist.

There have been many times that I’ve been aware of the opportunity to “give up me”.

And, until recently, I always thought the most obvious option was to keep on soldiering on my quest for self-gratification.

Just this week though, I tried the other option: I gave up me. It was the greatest relief of my life.

Here’s what’s happened since then.

In living for others, going out is no longer a chore or an effort – because I’m no longer there for me.

I don’t need to fight the tough battle of acceptance. Acceptance and what others think of me is no longer part of my life.

I no longer have to constantly perform to make sure people are looking at, acknowledging, or validating me.

Instead, I am there for others.

And my purpose revolves around being whoever I need to be to ensure everybody is having an awesome night.

This means doing a number of things I rarely used to do:

- being more aware of my surroundings,

- actually listening to people (not just their words, but everything from them), and

- really getting to the core of who they are.

I no longer care what other people think about me, I care what they think about themselves.

All of a sudden, my conversations with people were instantly more engaging.

Connection is almost immediate (since there’s no me in the equation, there are no boundaries to me either), and there is no room for pretense anymore.

The most counter-intuitive thing, however, is that more people want to be around me.

So in giving up me, I’ve actually started to enjoy the very thing that I was striving for when I was being all about me.

So yes, there is a price, I had to really give up getting what I want (not pretend to give up: ACTUALLY give up).

But when I thought about it, getting what I wanted has never really satisfied me: it’s just made me want more, and has lead to me feeling worse when I couldn’t achieve that “more”.

Perhaps you are the same as well.

Has anything you’ve ever claimed for yourself, anything you’ve ever achieved, lead to a lasting fulfillment beyond the couple of weeks after the fact?

Maybe you’ll enjoy life more when you give that up.

It’s something to think about, anyway.

Jonathon

I’m sure you’ve heard that dating tip many times before – especially as it relates to meeting women.

But have you thought of how it relates to you?

I put it to you, that attraction is not yet a choice for you, EITHER.

Perhaps this is a good thing (I’m sure most people think so). But consider the contrary.

You see, when attraction isn’t a choice, you are really relying on somebody to do something, or match a certain ideal, in order for you to feel attraction toward them.

I call this being unconscious. Others would call it being externally dependent.

I’m sure you have your lists that may be miles long determining whether or not you will ALLOW yourself to experience attraction.

But in the end, it is simply that: something you experience.

You can experience it any time.

But why don’t you?

Is it possible that you don’t allow yourself to be attracted to women, and the reason you close yourself down from feeling attraction towards women – is because you don’t want to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for that feeling.

If you see an attractive woman in the distance, and you’re too shit-scared to approach her, you ignore that she is there.

Or, if she’s not conventionally attractive in the eyes of your peers, you’d rather just suppress that wonderful feeling and… NEXT!

The most unfortunate thing is that you’re cheating yourself of an incredible emotion.

Now, just because I’m suggesting that you are simply not choosing to feel attraction, it doesn’t mean that you’re doing something bad or wrong.

What I’m saying is that this default way of living may be preventing you from seeing what’s really going on.

It may be preventing you from really experiencing that woman in your vicinity.

She may not meet your criteria of attraction, but does that necessarily mean that she is incapable of being attractive?

You’re the one with the lenses on. You’re the only one that can perceive her as attractive or not attractive, and yet you prevent it from occurring because perhaps you don’t want to own up to it.

Maybe you’re saving yourself for that “perfect one”.

But every woman you meet is perfect.

And I see a lot of men reject countless women because they are actually afraid of the vulnerability that comes with feeling attraction: it’s easier to reject her before she can even get a sniff of thinking about rejecting you.

Exercising control in suppressing attraction is one way to ensure a lack of control when you really let go and embrace your attraction.

There’s nothing wrong with that feeling. Attraction is energizing.

Understand that you won’t die if you feel attracted to a woman. And you won’t die if she doesn’t reciprocate with attraction towards you.

You will still be in control, it’s OK.

Just right now you’re choosing not to be.

Try feeling as deeply attracted to each woman as you possibly can, and find out for yourself how incredible each day becomes.

Jonathon