What do you hold as “true”? Do you realise that another person could have a different perspective on your truth, and call it a “truth” also?

Which one of you is right? Who is wrong?

Steven

PS Yup, a short blog post today ;)

Heck, I remember serving a drink or six to many loyal AI subscribers and customers over the years. It’s been great.

But all that has recently come to an abrupt end.

About a week ago I decided that I was done with bartending.

Finita. Kaput. Endski.

Why? Well, because I felt like I was in an “open relationship” with that job:

- I only did that job to get a wage
- There was no connection with the work
- I didn’t worry too much about my performance
- I didn’t care if I got fired – because I could easily get another job
- I was often drunk before, during and after work
- I would get called in at odd hours
- And I’d always turn up late

Why was it this way?

Well, I ended up having that relationship to my job because at some stage I decided that what I really wanted was an easy, fun, comfortable evening job which paid my bills..

..So that I could have the freedom to work on AI during daytime hours (which I consider my main gig, my passion and partial manifestation of my purpose).

However, I realised that there was a breakdown of integrity in this setup. See, my motives for doing bartending could be summed up as:

“I want to get a biggest possible wage for the minimum amount of work possible.”

In other words, I was being a drain on the world in that area of my life.

Recently I realised that being a drain at work is a bit like watching internet porn – it’s comfortable and pleasant but it offers little satisfaction. It’s empty.

So it was time to transform that part of my life.

And who doesn’t want to get more results from our job? More money. More satisfaction. A promotion. Boss’ acknowledgment.

When it comes to getting more results, what is the first thing that we usually focus on? That’s right, we immediately change our actions, right?

We try to work longer, harder, we endure more of our boss’ shit, we look for a better paying job, we move overseas “to try to find more opportunities” .. and so on.

If we were to put this madness into an equation, it would look something like this:

ACTIONS -> RESULTS

Different actions will yield different results, right? Sure.

We also use the same formula to quit smoking, save up money, lose weight, pick up beautiful women, be better fathers, deal with difficult family members, get a firmer 6-pack.. you name it!

Does this strategy work?

Well, of course not. Reality is very cruel to such vanities.

Why?

Because there is one crucial element missing from that formula. And that element is one of Being:

BEING -> ACTIONS -> RESULTS

Your Actions and Results will correlate directly with who you’re Being.

And if who I’m Being is a man who seeks a cosy job where I’m happy to do the bare minimum so that I can pay my bills..

..then my actions will correlate with that – I’ll be an average performer, I’ll do the minimum necessary to avoid getting into shit, I’ll have no passion or zeal for the job..

..I’ll cut corners when no-one is looking..

..I’ll have no pride in my work.

And my results will also correlate with my actions: I’ll feel unsatisfied, I won’t get the good shifts, I’ll be passed for promotion, I won’t be offered responsibility and won’t get paid as much as I could be.

What’s the solution?

Well, I could intervene at the level of Actions – and motivate myself to get to work on time, not slack off, not get drunk, do the best possible job .. but as we have already discovered, it doesn’t work.

Why doesn’t it work?

Because who I’m Being – who is creating all those Actions – is still Being a drain on the universe. I’m still someone who wants to be cosy, comfy, and get paid for it.

Which is what led me to let go of Being a drain in that area of my life. I realised that results are never produced by Being in a comfort zone.

It was time for a shift. Now, what I wanted was another hospitality job which was flexible enough to fit around AI.

However, fuck being cosy, being comfortable and fuck knowing what I’m doing. Fuck being a big fish in a small pond. Which meant leaving bartending.

It was time to dive head first into a job which I wasn’t sure how to do right, and learn to swim in it, so to speak, before I ran out of air.

It was time to live outside my comfort zone. Who I was Being now could be described as:

“GIVE ME A FUCKING CHALLENGE”.

I knew that I would attract a job which fit in with that agenda. However, what I ended up attracting was pretty extraordinary.

I couldn’t think of a job that’s more suited to my needs right now. I’m working as a waiter in a little Italian restaurant, considered to be best in Sydney – right around the corner from my house in Potts Point.

The menu is in Italian, just about everyone who works there is also Italian, there’s real passion oozing out of every pore, the team love their work and at the end of the shift there is a real sense of accomplishment.

The shifts work perfectly around AI, and the pay + tips are more than I need.

Here’s the weird part.

When I walked into this restaurant to see if they’re looking for staff, I already knew I was going to work there.

On a sidenote, have you ever met a girl, and experienced the same thing?

Those moments where seconds after meeting her, you know you’re going to hook up. You like her. She likes you. You know that she knows that you like her. She knows that you know..

You know that at some yet-to-be-defined point in the future you’re going to destroy her in bed. She knows that you want to. And she wants you to. And it’s all good.

That’s integrity at play. You’re NOT operating at the level of Actions – “How can I get her to feel attracted to me?”, but at the level of Being – “This is me. I like you. And I like you even if you don’t like me.”

Getting this job was just like that.

Here’s the lesson I learned:

Results are driven by having integrity in this system:

BEING -> ACTIONS -> RESULTS

When you have integrity, results have no choice but to be produced. If you really want to live your edge, you could expand this system to include Thoughts:

BEING -> THOUGHTS -> ACTIONS -> RESULTS

I invite you to notice when your Thoughts and Actions are out of alignment.

When you do, then you may want to notice that who you’re Being in that moment may not be who you’re projecting out there as Actions. Rather, you’re probably using Actions to cover up your true Being.

If you do that, your Results will suffer.

This is the reason why PUA stuff doesn’t work. It’s all Action trying to inform Being. It may look good on the surface – and you may even get laid – but there is no integrity in it.

It’s not going to transform you, expand you or nurture you – and getting women that way is a constant struggle uphill.

Most people never get Results in life because they see this formula the wrong way around. They look at it like this:

RESULTS -> ACTIONS -> THOUGHTS -> BEING

Their logic can be summed up in a sentence like this:

“Once I get more money, and have the dream job, and learn how to pick up girls, I’ll be able to do anything, I’ll be more confident, I’ll be in a position to speak my mind and I’ll be happy, open and free.”

Of course, that is the norm by which 99.9% people live. And you know what? There is nothing wrong with that. You can live a pretty decent life by following this mantra.

But we’re not here to live “decent” lives.

We’re here to realise our fullest potential, and to be extraordinary men.

Here’s what I really got from this: you can’t anything that you don’t have already. So to create Results in your life, you first have to start Being. And everything else will follow automatically.

I invite you to start noticing areas in your life where that system of integrity is out of alignment – and it will help you see why why you’re not producing the results you want in those areas.

And if you want to find out more about how to start Being someone who creates results and lives with integrity, you will find that Seduction Community Sucks book will give you a solid kickstart in that direction.

Steven

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein.

Steven

And when I say “God”, I’m not talking about the God who typically comes to mind in a traditional Biblical context.

Thus, I’m not talking about a Creator, or a Trinity, or an omnipresent spirit being..

.. who metes out punishment, forgives sin and answers prayers.

(Although you’re free to believe in that, if you choose).

I’m talking about the Source which lays beyond your mind – Consciousness, if you will – the part of you which is aware of your mind.

When you’re present, when you’re in the moment, when you’re in state, when you’re not stuck in your head, is when you’re closest to being to God.

You know those moments when you don’t THINK or LOGICALLY ANALYSE anything, yet you still come up with the most suitable action possible in that given moment?

Does it feel like you’re accessing something much deeper than your mind in that moment? Does it feel like you’re tapping into a Genius that is more powerful than anything you could conjure up?

Well, I hope so – because it’s not just a figment of your imagination.

Can you imagine what it would be like to be in that state all the time?

What kind of effect would it have on your life? Not just dating and seduction, but career, personal life and everyday well-being.

The good news is that you don’t need to become anything else for your life to be like that. You just need to be more yourself. You need to remove the layers of crap and become more YOU.

Every time you listen to some piece of advice about how you should act, you take a step away from you.

Every time you want to do or say something, but something prevents you, you’re not living your life to your fullest potential.

Every time you skim the surface of conversation instead of cutting to what’s real, you’re short-changing yourself and the person you’re talking to.

You’re better than that. You owe it to yourself to be able to tap into that Genius which is at your fingertips, every moment of every day.

The challenge, then, is not to learn more rules about how to act and behave. It’s to let go of rules and barriers and junk, and reveal the real You.

The first step?

Stop living on autopilot, and become conscious of everything you do.

Why did you REALLY go to work today?

Why did you REALLY check out that girl as she was walking away, but not when she was coming towards you?

Why did you REALLY buy that gadget?

Why are you REALLY intimidated by that guy?

The more you begin to see the reasons of what you do, the more you’ll be empowered to change what you do.

Steven

But I must clarify: it’s not a “secret seduction technique” or whatever, so please do not adopt it as such.

If you approach meditation as a means to a certain end (attracting girls), you will be disappointed.

It is not a magic bullet of seduction.

But it just so happens that the practice of meditation helps get you outside of your analytical mind..

..And that is a very useful skill to have if you, say, are standing in the middle of a busy bar on a Saturday night, hopelessly stuck in your head.

Power of focus developed through meditation can help you get “unstuck”. Plus it can also ensure that you don’t get so “stuck” in the first place.

Since many of you may not be too familiar with meditation, I thought I’d give a quick run-down of a few different varieties of meditation.

That way you can try them all..

..and find one that works for you.

Since meditation works best when continually practiced, finding one that you actually look forward to doing can be half the battle won.

Unless otherwise stated, the following are to be performed sitting either on the floor, or in a chair. Lying down isn’t so conducive to the process.

If you find that your back and\or pelvis gets sore sitting on the floor, try elevating yourself by sitting on a cushion (this can take the pressure off).

Century Count.

This one is pretty simple, but can be challenging to complete. All you are doing for this exercise is becoming conscious of your breathing, and counting each breath until you reach 100.

If you forget which number you’re up to, you have to start again, aaalllll the way from the beginning.

Don’t worry, if you don’t get there the first few times, we’re not trained to focus on a task so intently for that period of time.

I personally enjoy doing this exercise as part of my morning routine as I travel to work, which can be very challenging with all the noise.

Basically this exercise really helps me focus with laser like precision throughout the day.

Mindfulness.

This form of meditation is somewhat of an observational form of meditation where you become “mindful” of everything occurring in the present moment:

Your breathing, your bodily sensations, your thoughts, the sounds surrounding you, the texture of the moment.

The aim is to not get caught up in the goings on, but to separate yourself and simply observe everything, even your thoughts.

Visualisation.

This form of meditation is a little difficult to do on your own, but there are some great audios around that can guide you through the process.

In Tantric practices, the practitioner would meditate upon the vision of themselves as a deity, or the most enlightened being they knew, and simply contemplate with that image in their minds eye.

Breathwork.

This seems to be one of the most common forms of meditation, and it simply involves becoming conscious of your breathing, and focusing on each breath as it enters and exits your body.

The aim is to maintain all focus on the breath and not get caught up in the noise of your thoughts.

Quite often you may find yourself drifting off in to thought, which is fine, you just simply bring yourself gently back to your breath when you notice that you’re caught up in your thoughts again.

Meditation With Feeling.

This practice really spun me out, and it’s something I’ll try from time to time. This meditation was recommended by David Deida in his “Way of the Superior Man” teaching sessions cd’s.

The meditation involves “meditating” or sending your awareness outside of your body. To try this, begin with the breathwork meditation, then send your awareness 10 feet in front of you, then 10 feet behind you, 10 feet below, and 10 feet above.

It’s a real head-spin, but quite unique.

There are many other forms of meditation, but I really only try to speak about things that I myself have experienced. If you’d like to learn more: Wikipedia and Google are your friends.

Enjoy the contemplation time.

Jonathon

———

“The man who, being really on the Way, falls upon hard times in the world will not, as a consequence..

..turn to that friend who offers him refuge and comfort and encourages his old self to survive..

Rather, he will seek out someone who will faithfully and inexorably help him to risk himself..

..so that he may endure the suffering and pass courageously through it, thus making of it a “raft that leads to the far shore.”

Only to the extent that man exposes himself over and over again to annihilation, can that which is indestructible arise within him. In this lies the dignity of daring.

Thus, the aim of (spiritual) practice..

..is not to develop an attitude which allows a man to acquire a state of harmony and peace wherein nothing can ever trouble him..

On the contrary, practice should teach him to let himself be assaulted, perturbed, moved, insulted, broken and battered -

- that is to say, it should enable him to dare to let go his futile hankering after harmony, surcease from pain, and a comfortable life in order that he may discover, in doing battle with the forces that oppose him, that which awaits him beyond the world of opposites..

The first necessity is..

..that we should have the courage to face life, and to encounter all that is most perilous in the world..

When this is possible, meditation itself becomes the means by which we accept and welcome the demons which arise from the unconscious..

..a process very different from the practice of concentration on some object as a protection against such forces..

Only if we venture repeatedly through zones of annihilation can our contact with Divine Being, which is beyond annihilation, become firm and stable..

The more a man learns..

..whole-heartedly to confront the world that threatens him with isolation, the more are the depths of the Ground of Being revealed and the possibilities of New Life and Becoming opened.”

- The Way of Transformation by Karlfried Gras von Durkheim

———–

The way they walk, the way they dress, the way they smell, the way they carry themselves through the world…

…the way they shut down, and the way they open up.

All of it.

Most of all, I love the way they make me feel.

But this is something that hasn’t always been available to me.

For the longest time, instead of being aware of the wonderful feelings that were being awoken in me, I was concentrating on other things…

Things like, how I needed to approach women. How I needed to act around them. What I needed to say, and how I would introduce my wing and so on, and so on.

Now I couldn’t give a shit about any of that.

Mostly because those things are so miniscule in its importance compared to what I’m feeling in my body when SHE walks past.

I could be in zombie-autopilot mode, going about my day unconsciously, fantasizing about how good life will be when such and such happens…

…and then SHE walks past and lights a fire in my belly, and I can’t help but come back to the present.

These feelings are the very reason I love to be alive, and that is her gift.

But can you be with it?

Or is it so powerful that you need to lose yourself in fantasy again, thinking about every inch of her naked body as she drapes herself over yours after hours of ecstasy?

It’s a nice image, but it’s not real, and it’s taking you away from the very feelings that spurred that fantasy in the first place.

Breathe her in, appreciate her, respect her, and bring that new energy (which she has gifted you with) to her, and offer it as your gift.

But most importantly, be with her, not lost in some fantasy world, or caught up in your head thinking of the right thing to say.

Stay in your body, feel your attraction fully, and bring that to the table when you go over and find out all about her.

You may not even exchange words – I LOVE it when that happens :)

Jonathon

…but it may be our greatest undoing as well.

I’m talking about sex, of course.

The allure of it is all-pervasive. With the promise of complete sexual abundance, whether that be with many women, or just that “one” you’ve been aching for…

…it was this “in-the-not-to-distant-future” fantasy that kept us going.

But what happens when we get there?

We’ve been chasing this fantasy for so long, and we’ve been more caught up in the steps to achieving said fantasy, that we’ve lost sight of what it is we really desire.

Sure, you’d love the conquest of the act.

But I put it to you that it’s not the conquest you’ve been yearning for, deep down, but rather the connection that occurs through that moment.

Or rather, the connection that is POSSIBLE in that moment, if you’ll allow it.

Sexual connection; to be wanted; to be desired; to feel good enough. To feel like you ’scored’.

When you end up having sex with that one woman you REALLY want (for you it may be a SHB10, or the girl next door you’ve been fantasizing about since high-school), everything is supposed to be OK.

But if you’ve been chasing it for so long, if you’ve been so focused on perfecting the steps of arriving at this moment, quite often there’s nothing available to give in these moments of expected ecstasy.

Connection, if that’s what you truly seek, is available through openness.

Your ability to be vulnerable, and to share that vulnerability with a woman.

And when are we feel most vulnerable, but when we stand physically naked in front of a woman.

The first reaction, in an instant such as this, is to close down, or put up some sort of barrier to protect yourself…

…it may be the macho veneer, it may be the “freeze-out”, it may be some other technique you’ve learned in your travels to becoming a God of picking up women.

But that very thing will stop you from experiencing the one thing that drove you in the first place.

Your shield, built by your own insecurity, will be the very thing that stops you from FEELING the one thing that could dissolve that insecurity in a second.

And what about the woman standing opposite you?

Do you think that she doesn’t yearn for the very same thing you do?

Do you think she doesn’t have her OWN insecurities?

In building her up as you have, you’ve just created more room for this beautiful woman to fall, in your own eyes, and her.

In this moment of rawness, you are nothing but two human beings, potentially sharing a moment of intimacy that has the potential to be a beautiful experience, IF you let down that barrier.

IF you are willing to be brave enough to be vulnerable.

IF you are willing to forget about the path you’ve traveled, and the habits you’ve picked up, and leave them on the floor with your clothing.

And just be with her, insecurities and all, flawed as you are, and still willing to open to her in a moment of insecurity dissolving connection.

She may not respond: it’s very possible.

But at least you were willing to give it the opportunity it deserves.

At least now you’re one step closer to the REAL path you set out on.

At least now, even if it’s only a one night stand, she was able to experience somebody who was brave enough to be real.

Jonathon

More specifically, that women are attracted to men with MONEY.

The seduction community has gone to some way to upset that myth…

Mostly, by demonstrating that a guy who can banter…

…can tool a “high-status” businessman type in a bar, and keep a woman’s attention much more effectively than the latter’s offers of free drinks.

Nonetheless, some dating gurus still maintain that status, which is associated with having wealth, can compensate – at least in part – for lack of deep inner confidence…

…and ability to be 100% present with a woman, no matter what she throws at you.

Here’s the spanner in those works, however.

As part of my bartending gigs I have met quite a few rich men. They have been my long-term regulars in bars I work.

And, like the popular stereotype goes, I’ve seen many of them attract women with ease.

However, I’ve seen just as many of them struggle at attracting women.

I remember working at a private function in an exclusive Bondi Beach restaurant last summer…

Beautiful girls wearing summer dresses were skipping about, laughing and sipping Champagne on the sun-drenched balconies.

Also at the party was a guy there who was the founder of a major footwear / sportswear company. I won’t reveal which one, but to put it mildly, he was loaded.

And relatively young.

All day he tried to impress girls with his wealth, buying rounds of martinis, and smiling politely. They would give him a tight-lipped smile back, take the free drinks and ….

Politely, but promptly cut him out of the conversation.

I was chatting about this with a beautiful femme friend of mine recently, who is a self-confessed magnet for rich men.

She said something to me that was unexpected:

“There’s never a shortage of rich old men hitting on you”.

It really made me think, because despite all my involvement in inner game at all this AI stuff…

…a part of me still exists which thinks I’ll be able to compensate for some of my inner flaws with … stuff, junk, money and toys.

Maybe I will be able to – to a small extent. I mean, trophy wives do exist, right? But then do I really want to be with a woman who is lured by bling and status?

Will pursuit of such woman be a journey of growth and discovery? Or that of hollow pleasures and cheap thrills?

Thinking like that really helps realign priorities and focus on what matters.

I really don’t want to be a 50-something year old man, single, rich and hoping that my toys buy me some love which I can’t get myself.

Another story would be being old, rich, and using using toys as a seasoning of sorts, would be a totally different story. Something like this, perhaps:
;)

So, let’s begin ;)

Seduction Community Prediction #1: People Will Stop Using The Term “Seduction Community”.

At the moment, the climate on a lot of seduction community forums is that of:

“We’re here for self-development, now just learning how to pick up women”.

Thing is, for many guys this mindset is still just a veiled attempt at being “unattached to the outcome” when approaching women.

But as time goes on, I feel that genuine interest in self development will awaken in many more guy…

…and picking up women will increasingly be seen as a by-product of fulfilled life – rather than its end goal.

Prediction #2: PUAs & Mystery Method Will Continue To Exist.

Every day a few hundred men get frustrated at their lack of success with women – to the point where they decide to do something about it.

Inevitably, they sit down in front of their computer, swallow their pride, and type into Google something like, “how to pick up women” or “how to approach women” or “dating tips”…

0.031 seconds later they have the “answers” at their fingertips…

And they begin reading. Soaking up dating theory, tips, routines, openers and techniques like a sponge.

Whilst for most guys having this knowledge feels like progress (“so this is why women see me just as a friend!!”)…

…It takes some time to realise that intellectually knowing the answers – having the answers – leads merely to being a very good imitator of the real deal.

To actually BECOME the real deal requires dealing with one’s true organic experience. And that is a process of removing layers of knowledge, rather than piling more on.

So, Mystery Method will continue to act as a necessary step in the lives of many men…

… To give them first hand experience of what DOESN’T offer them all the success they’re looking for – thereby motivating them to go out and look deeper for stuff that does.

Prediction #3: Many More Dating Gurus Will Emerge…

The Internet has made it possible for anyone with $200 to make a decent-looking website, slap together some content, and declare themselves a “guru”.

Whilst not many of those gurus will ever actually help anyone, and even fewer will make their website into a profitable business, many will continue to spring up …

Prediction #4: And Many Existing Dating Gurus Will Vanish.

This increased competition will separate the wheat from the chaff.

And many dating gurus who are currently in the business of just repackaging the same old stuff in an attempt to make a quick buck will vanish from the sphere of visibility…

… while the power of social media will help spread the word about those who truly are producing foundation-changing stuff, bring them to the spotlight.

And they will do amazing things.

Prediction #5: I will not get accepted into the Sydney Lair.

Doesn’t mean I won’t stop trying :)

Prediction #6: We Will Fail…

Every one of us will – at least once – end up standing next to a beautiful woman and racking our head for something to say.

It may happen in a line waiting for coffee, or on a bus, or waiting for the little man to go green…

But it will happen. And as soon as she is gone we will be kicking ourselves for not saying anything at all.

Prediction #7: And We Will Succeed.

Every one of us will strike up a conversation with a woman without worrying about what “the right thing” to say to her is, or what she is thinking…

And it will be a conversation of purity, freedom of expression and joy.

Prediction #8: LoGun will become louder.

Doesn’t mean we won’t try to silence him ;)

Steven