Do You Get Self-Conscious?
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As human beings we naturally want to be real, authentic, and truly ourselves.
We might not all be consciously aware of this drive towards authenticity…
…but inherently we value being ourselves, especially when it is easy and effortless.
Fulfillment comes from knowing what and who we are, and we seek security in this knowledge.
We want the sense of who we are to be stable…
…and we want this stability to be firmly established beyond the need for it to be shored up by external factors.
Expressing ourselves is a joy…
…especially when the expression feels truly reflective of our true selves.
It is possible to appreciate ourselves even more when we are spontaneous, rather than self-conscious, as we express ourselves authentically.
We can enjoy being creative in our lives, especially when what manifests from within us reveals what lies in our depths, expanding and deepening our experience of ourselves.
When our sense of who we are is stable, real, positive, and non-conflictual…
…we experience a sense of worth.
When we know what we want, and see that our desires authentically reflect who and what we are, our self-esteem improves, and we find ourselves enjoying truly human interactions.
The more effortlessly secure we are in being ourselves, the more we can afford to open up to others, and the more we can naturally act with generosity and magnanimity.
Then we are able to feel more in touch with our humanity, and more willing to be kind and sensitive to others.
Loving becomes a joy and a gift.
However, the moment we feel insecure in our sense of ourselves, the moment we sense that we are not centered in what and who we are, this whole picture reverses.
A heavy darkness descends on our experience; we cease to be open and generous, and we find ourselves forgetting our humanity.
We begin to feel self-centered and self-conscious, and we become anxiously and egotistically concerned about ourselves.
An obsessiveness over how we appear to others develops, and we find ourselves needing an unusual amount of admiration, approval and recognition.
Our self-esteem turns extremely fragile…
…and we find ourselves unusually vulnerable to feeling hurt and insulted over the slightest lack of understanding or empathy.
Our sense of ourselves grows shaky and, rather than coming from within, depends upon feedback from others, making us defensive.
Our actions and expressions tend to become false, inauthentic, and reactive, making it difficult to know what authentic action would really be.
Without a spontaneous and free sense of who we are, we can only feel empty and unimportant; our lives will lack meaning and significance.
Rather than expressing a sense of value and esteem…
…we find ourselves feeling worthless and ashamed.
Rather than enjoying our interactions and activities, we find ourselves beset by anger, rage and envy; instead of being generous and magnanimous, we slide towards exploiting and devaluing others.
The desire to realize and maximise the first condition and to be free from the second is natural, but as we all know this is not so easily done.
Even when a great deal of experience and maturity is brought to bear, sooner or later we discover, to our chagrin, that our effort has fallen flat.
Our of a recognition for the difficulties of this situation, and out of love for the truth, we have found it desirable to write this book…
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Excerpt humbly borrowed from: A.H. Almaas (1996). The Point Of Existence. Shambhala Publications.
Next: 7 Reasons Why Dating Advice Can Make You Worse With Women.
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