Do You Respect Yourself Enough To Attract Women?
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Respect for yourself.
It’s a phrase that isn’t often mentioned in the dating community.
The importance of it is, however, something I stumbled across about a week ago.
Stripped of a large chunk of my perceived identity recently [read: going through a break-up]..
…I became a little bit depressed about my concept of who I was, how I fit into the world, and what exactly the fuck I should be doing now.
My first instinct was to replace this missing chunk as quickly as possible.
…Most likely with a distraction that would come in the form of a leggy brunette with a great ass, killer body, and a seductive attitude to boot.
What I (thankfully) quickly realised was that I was simply attempting to fill a void that was ultimately, and uncomfortably at first, going to lead me down a path toward greater happiness and fulfilment.
I actually initially thought that the leggy brunette was going to be my quickest route to fulfilment, but what I discovered was that I was placing all that responsibility upon an external other.
In other words, I was not trusting of – nor respecting – myself, not enough to take the full weight of that responsibility, and to turn it into something that I was solely in charge of.
Looking back now, I see the many symptoms of my own lack of self-respect:
An inability to be punctual
Procrastination
General laziness
Being outcome focussed
Engaging in social interactions purely to be validated (since I clearly was not internally validated)
Attempting to manipulate (and I couldn’t see it this way at first) beautiful women so that they would recognise how awesome I was
Basing my sense of self-worth off my results
This also manifested in other areas of my life on a deeper, less conscious level.
Since I was not practising respect for myself, I had little to offer other people as far as respect was concerned:
…My friends, colleagues, members of the opposite sex…
(My social interactions were certainly not worth bragging about during this period – and neither were my results).
My relatives…
All of these instances were lacking a deeper substance to them.
To the point that I was barely in contact with the people I cared about, and when engaging with new people, I had nothing to really bring to the table outside of the surface level entertainment fluff.
When I look back on the last time I went through a period of lacking self respect (of course, back then I couldn’t put my finger on what was really going on), it was the same time that I entered the pickup community.
At that time, my distraction was the method I could perfect when it came to seducing all the beautiful women I wanted.
Back then, as with now, each and every interaction lacked that deeper substance.
And as a result, I was playing a numbers game, chasing approach after approach, yearning for that one precious conversion from a ‘number’ to a ‘fuck’ close.
The one that would finally allow me to realise a happiness I didn’t think was readily available to me.
Perhaps you are aware of your lack of self-respect on some level.
And perhaps you’re not.
If you want to find out if you really respect yourself, ask why it is that you do the things you are doing, right now.
Not the things you want to be doing, but rather the things you are actually doing (perhaps up until now, you haven’t even been that conscious of what it is you actually do).
Why do you approach women in the way that you have been?
Why do you view women the way that you currently do?
What is it that you’re seeking at the core of it all?
Do you do these things because you understand that they are your gift to the world? Because you’ve decided to be the maker of your reality, and you couldn’t possibly know a deeper satisfaction any other way?
Or are you looking to others for your answers because you don’t respect yourself enough to live the happy, content, and fulfilled life?
I know what I discovered, and thanks to the tools I’ve discovered through my journey along the path of inner game, I now know how to course correct…
…And to start claiming back my happiness (and in the past, with less effort I saw my “results“ go through the roof after my course corrections as well – a pleasant side-effect).
I wonder what it is that you’ll discover?
Jonathon
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