Fear Of Rejection – Cure Fear Of Rejection For Good.

by Leigh (LoGun) on August 28, 2009 · No Comments

Fear of rejection is a very real issue.

Every guy I’ve ever coached have suffered from this in some way. I suffered from it.

And I tried countless techniques to deal with it, but it wasn’t till I realised a simple and obvious truth that I was ever able to rid myself of fear of rejection for good.

Let’s take a moment to see what fear of rejection is.

It can grip you, HARD. Sweaty palms, butterflies, tight chest, and then the mind chatter starts: “What’s going to happen? What should I say? What if she…”

But think about this – fear of rejection doesn’t grip you EVERY time you talk to a woman, right?

Yes, sometimes it’s fierce. But other times it’s non-existent, and you can run free, without thinking, doing what you want and saying what you want to say.

How is this possible? I racked my brain trying to work it out.

Was the difference caused by the bar I was in? Not really, although being in familiar surroundings can help.

Was the difference caused by the group I was rolling with? No, but being in a cool group could make me feel better.

Was the difference in techniques? Well, no.

And then it struck me, and it was so obvious: the difference wasn’t what I was doing. It wasn’t how I was doing it

It was how I felt!

When I felt great, when my mood was amazing, I didn’t care whether women responsded positively (which usually meant she did anyway).

It was only when I felt ordinary that I cared at all. The more ordinary I felt, the more the fear of rejection took hold.

So consider this:

Have you ever been in such a great mood – have you ever walked so tall – that it didn’t even matter what happened with ‘that girl’?

Have you ever felt so great that you didn’t even care whether she responded positively or not?

Then do you think it’d be faster and easier to work on fading ways to deal with every kind of rejection scenario she could give you?

Or do you think it would be faster and easier to just get in a great mood and not have to care what she thinks?

Do you want to set yourself for a lifetime of hard work, constantly having to battle against your fears and doubts, or do you want to be able to leave them all behind and do what you want, when you want?

Thing is, you can never guarantee that she’s going to respond positively. Ever.

I don’t care what kind of super duper, highly advanced, NASA designed routine stack you have.

She could be in a shit mood, she could be testing you, she could even be doing just for the hell of it. She’s feminine, it’s how she works.

If you spend your time going down that path, it’s only going to lead you to more and more work.

If you take control of how you feel though, you wont have to worry about dealing with those kinds of problems because they simply wont matter.

But before you decide which path you’re going to go down, I want you to consider one more thing.

Do you think she’s more likely to respond positively to someone who’s delivering a half-arsed canned opener (structured or natural) through a thin veil of non-attachment designed to (poorly) hide the ever rising fear?

Or do you think she’s more likely to respond positively to the genuinely happy and loving guy who’s being real, present, and open with her?

Think about it and get back to me…

LoGun