How To Approach Women In Daytime.
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How many times a day do you see women you want to approach?
Now, imagine being able to approach these women confidently. To sweep them off their feet and leave them wondering:
“Wow. Who was that guy?”
This is not fantasy. It is the power of Inner Game.
Once your Inner Game is sorted, approaching takes care of itself. You don’t think about how to be an attractive man. You ARE that man.
You have no approach anxiety. Anxiety is rooted in a possibility of loss or danger. When you are a complete Man, you seek to take nothing from her.
You don’t experience approach anxiety; you experience approach excitement. You only seeks to add to her world. In that context, there can be no anxiety, no fear. Not possibility of loss.
You are not thinking of the next thing to say, because your actions are naturally grounded in Purpose.
You see a script roll out before your eyes, with the perfect word appearing at the perfect time. You connect with her. You relate.
You feel her. She feels you.
(Get your mind out of the gutter ;).
Now, an attractive woman receives dozens of looks, complements and approaches a day. That is a lot of competition. So what is the best way for you to get to the top of that pile of men?
How do you become the wheat and separate yourself from the chaff?
The good news is that the majority of men who approach her (especially during the day) are the chaff; so how do you become the wheat?
You follow some basic ideas of male-female interaction, and they are not ideas I’ve come up with – they have been around forever. And then you combine them with some ideas that we DID come up with, and you get .. well, you get what you want.
So, below is a transcript of a typical training session where we show men just how easy it can be to meet women they desire. See if it’s something you find interesting.
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“So. How would I go about approaching women in the daytime?”
“Well, first things first; she is going to be off in her own little world, so you’ll need to get her attention.”
“OK, so how do I do that?”
“How would you get any stranger’s attention?”
“I’d just say hi, I guess.”
That sounds perfect. I’d throw in a little arm touch for good measure. Just to make sure that she knows that you’re talking to her.
“Sweet. Ok, what next?”
Well, whenever people come and talk to you in the street, what’s the first thing that you’re wondering?
“Why the hell they’re talking to me!”
“Great. So why are you talking to this woman?”
“Umm… Well, she caught my attention. I find her really attractive.”
“Good, why don’t you tell her that. Why else did you approach this woman?”
“Because I want to find out if she is the kind of woman I like.”
“Excellent.”
“But people never do that, it’s just weird!”
“Why don’t you throw that in as well.”
“Ok. So you’re suggesting something like, ‘Hi [arm touch], I realise that people never do this, but you caught my attention and I had to come and find out what you’re like.’ Yeah?”
“That’s great. But she will want to know who you are so I’d introduce myself after that.”
“And my name is XXX.”
“Yeah. Any variation on that is just fine. As long as you get her attention, and remain totally present in the moment with her, you should be fine.”
“Present? You mean the stuff we covered in the workshop?”
“Yeah. Express what you feel, and speak what’s on your mind – rather than trying to analyze the situation.”
“But can you just do that? Just go up to her and say that kind of stuff?”
“I don’t know, can YOU?”
“Good point. So what now?”
“Ok, so you approached this woman to find out about her, so talk about her.”
“But I know that interviewing her is not going to work.”
“I didn’t say interview her, I said talk about her. Run with what she gives you.”
“But she won’t have given me anything.”
“She will have given you everything you need to start off with.”
“When?”
“When you said what you had to say.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, was she friendly, was she shy, was she scared, was she annoyed, was she flattered? Whatever she was, bring attention to it. Be curious about it. There is plenty of fun things you can do with that.”
“Like what?”
“The reframing stuff and all those improv comedy exercises we went through.”
“I remember.”
“How about,
‘Geez, you look happy to see me. Cute girls aren’t supposed to be happy! We need to to this again. I’ll approach you, but this time I want you to be angry. You need to give me your best angry face EVER. Ready?..
And you can throw in open-ended questions in between that to see if you can relate to her and tease her a bit, make fun of her and yourself … for example:
‘You must be on the way to work .. I’m guessing you’re a lawyer? How do I know that? Oh, you just have that money-hungry demeanour about you, that’s all. Seriously though, I could never be a lawyer, you must have been a bookworm at school .. See, I spent most of my school years eating chalk. Oh God, I wasn’t supposed to say that, that’s not a very good first impression..’ ”
It can’t be that easy.
“I’m pretty sure that it can’t be as hard as most guys make it. It’s only as hard as you make it.”
“But what if I do it and she rejects me?”
“What do you mean, rejects you?”
“What if she tells me to get lost?”
“Well, what does it mean to you?”
“Everyone is going to see me and think that I’m a loser!”
“Really? Every single person is going to think you’re a loser? It’s that easy to become a loser? So your definition of a loser is someone who gets told to get lost by a woman he tries to talk to in the street..
“Even if he is a great guy who is honest about his intentions, he suddenly becomes a loser?”
“No. But people will still think I’m a loser.”
“What does it matter what they think of you? Is the opinion of five strangers that you will probably never see again going to have some profound impact on your existence?”
“I guess not.”
“Good. I don’t believe in labelling anyone a loser, but out of interest would you say it’s more loser-ish to have the courage to approach a beautiful woman and be honest about your desires towards her, or is it more loser-ish to stand and watch her walk by?”
“Well, watch her walk by, I guess.”
“So does talking to her, regardless of the outcome, make you a loser?”
“No.”
“Excellent.”
“Excellent. So what kind of questions do I ask her?”
“Just use the rapport games we worked on in the workshop. Do you remember them?”
“Yeah, I do. So basically we’re just talking about being yourself. But I don’t get it. I have been myself for the last few decades and it hasn’t worked. How is this different?”
“Were you really being 100% yourself or were you what you thought she wanted to be? And, prior to coming here, did you REALLY know yourself?”
“Ok, I get it.”
“Good. So what’s still stopping you?”
“Well, is it really that easy?”
“It is only going to be as hard as you make it. If you think you need to run around remembering to talk over your shoulder and telling women you’re about to leave, or trying to memorise line after line of canned material, then it probably will be hard…
“When you achieve success following that those crazy methods you will reinforce your own belief that those things are necessary. If you think that you don’t need those things and you don’t use them and get success, you will reinforce your own belief that those rules don’t exist…
“It’s up to you how easy you want it to be…
“In the end, it’s not about what you say. It’s HOW you say it. And that is something that you can’t learn on a forum. It is a manifestation of your belief system, your inner game. And that is what we’re here to work on.”
“Cool. So what if I want to approach women in bars and clubs?”
“That is a lesson for another day. But it is no more difficult than this one. For now, let’s hit the streets and meet some cute girls. You ready?”
“Yeah!”
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Hope you enjoyed that ;)
Steven
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