I've had quite a few guys ask about how to develop their masculinity so I thought I'd put something together.

I should say that developing your feminine side is as important as developing your Mascunline side. Neither one is better or worse, they're both very integral and real parts of everyone so it's important not to neglect them. If anyone wants an article on developing your feminine side, just let me know.

Masculinity?

Essentially, being Masculine (in my definition) is being aligned with your purpose and living your life as an expression of that.

When you get down to the nuts and bolts of it, I believe living your purpose is about following your desire in every moment. Taking the action that you believe you need to, to satisfy your deep, primal urges.

Yes, I'm kind of talking about sex here but it's just a part of it. Sex is just one expression of that urge.

It's not a straightforward process...

This can be a very hit and miss process though. I consider myself fairly self aware but when I first started down this path, I did some pretty silly stuff that I thought was what I desired but really didn't get me where I wanted to go.

I'd spend hours and hours fucking, or days on drugs, or immerse myself inside a gym, or whatever I could to get that rush, that feeling, the sensation of nothingness but everythingness.

But it was useful...

The good thing about it was that it helped me rule one more thing out and move closer to what I actually wanted to do. The more things I did and found that I wasn't getting the long term sense of fulfillment that I was looking for, the more things I could cross of the list.

The other good thing about it was that it allowed me to have a taste of what I was searching for. Every time I experienced what I was looking for and then felt the disappointment of it leaving me, the more I was driven to finding a long term solution to remaining in that state, more and more often.

I believe this is why Deida's so big on purpose having multiple layers to break through. You experience a desire, try what you believe will get you there, it gets you there for a while but then leaves you, so then you move onto a deeper level that you think will get you there more often (theoretically. Most people don't move deeper, they just end up trying to get more and more of the temporary solution).

One thing that helped me a lot

I guess the big one that helped me get further down this path was just to become aware of what I thought I desired and then going after it. Once I'd given it a crack, I'd step back and find out how I felt. If I felt fulfilled, then great. I was on the right path. If I didn't then I knew I had to find something else.

It can be a long process but if your experience is anything like mine, it'll be the most rewarding you'll ever go down.

Then and now

My life these days is such a long shot from where it used to be. I used to wake up in the morning to the whining sound of my alarm clock, screaming at me to get up and go to an office that I hated. To sit around with people I disliked doing work that made me want to punch myself in the eye just to get out of it. I'd live my life throughout the week, just so I could get to the weekend and try and make myself happy.

These days, I wake up when I'm ready to the smell of the ocean through my window. Automatically my brain starts firing with ideas about how I can do the things that I find fulfilling in more effective ways and often I'll start typing before my eyes can focus properly on the screen. When I head out to work, I get excited because I know I'm going to have a great day. It's not uncommon for me to work 16 - 18 hours a day and love every minute of it.

So, here's the process:

 - Stop and work out what you actually desire. Not the object or action but the feeling that you want to have in every moment of your life. The reason we desire objects or to be able to do actions is because somewhere behind it, we want to feel a certain way so get in touch with that.

 - Think about how you can get more of that in your life - what actions do you need to do to feel like that more?

 - Try going after that (in a sustainable way - ie don't just quit your job without a plan)

 - Consider how you feel after performing that action

 - Do you feel temporarily fulfilled? Yes? Great. Enjoy that experience and then use that to motivate yourself to finding a more long term solution. No? Well, then stop, feel into your body and come up with another solution and try that.

NOTE: this is the point where most people go off track. They find something that provides them with a temporary solution and instead of using that to find a more permenant solution, they just try and get more of a temporary solution in their life.

 - Keep going through your life, getting more and more in touch with that feeling and keep moving on a path that you think is going to get you there.

Now, on this path, you're going to come up against barriers within yourself that are going to hold you back from doing what you actually desire. That's cool. Look inside them, find their core (it's usually got something to do with the feeling you desire) and then come up with a plan to deal with it.

If it works, great. If not, try again.

If you keep going down and down, you'll eventually hit a point where you're doing something that you find fulfils you in every moment. Something that fully engages you and yet has a deeper and more profound meaning than you've ever found before. It may not be what you do for the rest of your life but for now, keep running with it.

Your life will become a vehicle that you use to express your deepest desire in every moment.

I hope that helps,


LoGun

Great post! Made me realise that I am following my purpose which is why I feel so at peace within myself right now!

I would like to know about developing feminine side and also why it is important for someone whose core is masculine to develop their feminine side as well.

Logun, could you please PM me the feminine article?

Thanks mate.

Brizz

Same here please (you are probably going to be inundated with requests for this article now lol).

Wouldn't mind that article either LoGun, thanks brohame

I'm really interested to see how many guys are interested in an article on femininity! I didn't expect this at all. I guess I should come up with something pretty interesting then...

I'm also interested to head your thoughts on actually developing your Masculine side. Agree? Disagree? Neutral?

And I'm also interested in knowing why you guys are so interested in it? What appeal does it have for you? Do you think your feminine side is under nourished?

I think it is fantastic, being a dude and living life to its fullest, is being masculine, that whole no pain no gain push harder ethos applied to most of the things that you do seems to be good way to live. But at the gym pushing hard, trying to get that next hit out, with force, is a golden feeling, also listening to slayer grows your cojones, raining blood from a lacerated sky.

I guess being masculine is something that ultimately is natural, I can get my head around the 'concept' of it. What that concept is I can't really verbalize all too well, but I know when I feel it. Nourishing the feminine side has always been more wishy washy for me, never really got it, just more or less accepted that it happens. Would like a second opinion on it.

Also of late I have this nagging feeling that I'm not being open with my desires for the ladies, feels like I'm suppressing it, I don't know, at times I feel held back. Maybe this article is something that can help sort out what I am feeling.

Im still misunderstood as to how one develops masculinity as it does not make sense to me.

To me its seems more like a choice we make at any moment in time. More like a sub-branch of Purpose. Once you've figured out your purpose then you choose whether you will fulfill that purpose thru the Masculinity or the Femininity, which ever you feel is more efficient.

Thats why I wanted to read that article as it will explain more about femininity as there will be situations where the femininity will be the more efficient way to carry out the purpose.

Brizz

A friend who knows a hell of a lot about this stuff boils it down simply to: Masculine is getting what you want, while feminine is attracting what you want. All the elaboration you did to the masculine, apply it to the feminine. So instead of completion, it's about surrounding yourself with the things you want in your life. A masculine way of getting a partner is sweeping her off her feet and carrying her back to your cave. A feminine way of the same is dressing up, looking stunning and sending signs.

Hope that helps.

Ok, so let me try this again... Essentially, developing your Masculine side is about doing what you feel you need to do in every moment - whatever that is.

And as you're doing that, stay very conscious about how you feel during and after that activity. If you feel completely fulfilled, then you're on the right track. If you feel somewhat empty then if you want a long term solution, you need to find something deeper.

Keep going through different activities and eventually, you'll find something that will being a long term sense of satisfaction and fulfillment to your life. This is what's referred to as purpose.

Is that clearer?

And onto the feminine. The feminine is NEVER a more effective way of fulfilling purpose because of it's inherent nature.

For the Masculine to complete his purpose, he needs to dedicated himself to that task. This is not the realm of the feminine.

The feminine gets lost in love, light and beauty. The feminine is love, light and beauty. It swirls and dances flowing with the tides and the moon. It doesn't dedicate itself to task, it dedicates itself to everything.

I guess you could say that the feminine does complete purpose, if that purpose is surrender to everything around it.

The Masculine isn't about surrender, it's about penetration. The Masculine penetrates through barriers, the feminine dissolves as them.

Does that make sense?