This is a coaching call from one of our Coaching Programs.
In my last call with this guy, we worked out that his anxiety was one of the big things that was preventing him from living the life he desired and so we decided to tackle that first.
To help him move through it, I set him an assignment that might seem a little unusual:
Put yourself in three situations that make you feel anxious and allow yourself to feel anxious. Don’t reject your anxiety, simply allow yourself to experience it. See what happens.
He had some interesting experiences and definitely learned a lot through it.
You’ll hear what he got from that assignment and a whole lot more.
In this call, you’ll learn:
- The real cause of your anxiety
- The way to overcome your anxiety
- What happens when you follow this practice
- How you can use it to become more free and open in your life
- What you can learn about being an Alpha Male from Bill Murray
- What’s preventing you from being able to work out the actions you really want to take
- The next step to take solidify the changes
If you have any questions about the material we covered, leave a comment below.
Here’s the call again:
Leigh
Awesome awesome stuff.
Key Point I took away: Do what you innately feel like doing despite whatever anxiety/negative emotions you’re feeling in every second of every day, and those negative emotions will start to fade away. Brilliant.
Zac, that’s the key one. That really is the most powerful way to transform your life.
Fear, anxiety, negative thoughts, they’re all going to come up. The quality of life you lead isn’t determined by the presence of these things in your life. It’s determined by the way you try and deal with them. If you try and push them down or wait until they’re gone till you live the life you want, then you’re going to be struggling for a long time. If you simply allow them to be there but do what you want anyway, then they’re never going to prevent you from living the life you want.
Acceptance and action.
It’s the way.
How I can download the recording?
Sorry Marco, but you can’t download the call.
-> feel the anxiety, and don’t fight it, but just let it be there
-> and take action, take an action that you normally wouldn’t take (aka Courage)
Awesome. :D
powerful stuff. it’s hard to get out of my own head, thoughts like “i don’t wanna look creepy or desperate” keep me from breaking the ice…i’ve caught myself quickly looking away after making eye contact with a hot girl. i feel like the key barrier to overcome is that feeling of thoughtlessness, not knowing what to say or do. not knowing where to start. AI has gotten me to a point where i’ll meet an attractive woman and think; “is this the kind of woman i actually want?”, which helps a lot. but knowing nothing about a stranger, overcoming that fear of judgment is what it’s all about. keep it up leigh you are a fuckin’ visionary.
Hey Harry,
Thank you for the kind words. It’s great to hear we’ve been able to help you get so far. It’s interesting that you mention getting over that fear of judgment. It’s one of the BIG barriers that people have mentioned in the survey as being the key barrier they’re facing. I’m going to write a post on it that will hopefully help you deal with it.
Keep your eye’s open. It’ll be coming in a few days.
L.
Thanks everyone.
It all comes down to the mind. If you can believe something it is real. Every single person creates their own reality and is God of their own little psychic universe if they know how to present thought and concepts to their mind properly. For anxiety I believe it is all about getting out of the way of the thousands of thoughts that can plague the mind at such moments.Be okay with any outcome because in the end any single moment involving talking to a chick or whatever doesn’t really matter. This is the reason why the frame of “not giving a fuck” is so effective for some people because it allows them to feel more relaxed and just enjoy the moment.
Thanks Leigh!
“If you simply allow them to be there but do what you want anyway, then they’re never going to prevent you from living the life you want.
Acceptance and action.”
You Rock.
It’s such a powerful concept. I catch myself forgetting it now and again and when I realise what’s going on, I can see just how hard I make things for myself.
Acceptance and action. That’s all you need.
L.
Yo I’m a black american I really need to improve my inner game will this help you guys seem realer than most if not all out there
In my experience, I can help anyone. I have a question for you though, why did you feel it necessary to mention that you are a ‘black’ American? What is it about being ‘black’ that you thought we needed to know?
L.
Sorry it took so long to reply I. With being black in America women expect certain things. Black people also have a weird mindset. I’m different not ghetto or anything. I’m very interested in get real I just wanna relax around people and not be afraid.I also wanted to know could I do get real from my phone I have no computer thank you
Do you think that trying to meet the expectations of other people is helping you relax around people and not be afraid? If you stopped trying to meet the expectations of other people and just allowed yourself to be who you are, how much more would you be able to relax?
Exactly I agree 100% I need to stop caring but I do. It’s a crazy cycle we live
So doing acceptance and action,.. But what if it comes to expressing what your feeling o how do I do that??also if you do not know what to say??
look into your feelings, see what they are, and tell them!
if you don’t know what to say then say that!
just comes down to being authentic and saying what’s REALLY going on with you
Hey Leigh, I just wanted to say that I love the advice on this website – it’s food to my eyes and music to my ears! Keep up the great work! I can see similarities between your approach and morita therapy, did it influence you guys at all or is it just coincidence?
I’ve never actually heard of it before. What’s the story?
Here’s a short synopsis:
Morita Therapy is a purpose-centered, response oriented therapy from Japan.
Morita Therapy directs one’s attention receptively to what reality brings in each moment. Simple acceptance of what is, allows for active responding to what needs doing. Most therapies strive to reduce symptoms. Morita therapy, however, aims at building character to enable one to take action responsively in life regardless of symptoms, natural fears, and wishes. Character is determined by behavior, by what one does. Dogmatic patterns of collapse are replaced with the flexibility to call upon courage and empowerment. Decisions become grounded in purpose rather than influenced by the fluid flow of feelings.
Sounds EXACTLY like what we’re doing here. Sounds great. I’ll have to check it out.
Thanks for the info. I appreciate it.
Hey Leigh,
Quick question that would be really grateful if you could share your insight on…I was out at a bar/restaurant with a few friends and a few new people. When I arrived I was out of my head and really focussing on being present and connecting with people, consequently I was leading conversations and getting great responses e.t.c. But as the night went on and I got more tired, I went more and more into my head and I became a bystander in the conversations, making the odd small comment, nodding and smiling but letting others do most of the talking.
….This happens to me a lot when I go out, I will start interactions off very well but then the minute that I get slightly tired, I get more into my head and become very quiet.
Any ideas how I can solve this?
First thing: when you become tired, do you really WANT to be outgoing and leading or does it actually feel good to just sit back and allow the conversation to flow around you?
I’m asking because I know that when I get tired, I really like to sit and just observe and then when I feel pumped again, then I like to take the lead again.
You are…very welcome:)
I didn’t get the title of the movie your interlocutor mentions. Could you write it for me please?
Thanks!