Q&A: The Perfect Opener?

by Leigh (LoGun) · 3 Comments

Here’s a question I received a few days ago about a situation I’m sure you’ve been in.

If you’re still working through the whole PUA mindset, you’ll find my answer very useful.

Question:

Hey,

I don’t know if this is the right place to send this to, but I really need some advice. Everything I read so far on your site is amazing, but yesterday I saw this nice woman, nice red hair, good posture, fake flower in her hair, I like that. She dropped a fork or something and I just KNEW that was my chance… But somehow I didn’t because my parents, sis, grandma and grandpa were sitting next to me.

Every time she comes to my table to get our plates (she’ms a waitress) I just look at the plates to give her (if possible) and she says thanks and I just nod and get warm. I’ve never had that before. Last time I talked with this hot barber woman and it went great, we talked for quite some time about everything, no tricks like those fakers, just the real me, my opinions, things I like, things she liked etc. But with her… So different… But I’ve got it with other women too, I want to say hi but that first step is hard. After the first step I can handle myself, it’s just those first words. Especially when I really like a woman.

Any adice, tips or anything? Throw it all at me. I want to be prepared for the right woman you know. (maybe that waitress hmm? Hahaha)

Thanks in advance.

My Answer:

Hey mate,

From what you’ve written, it sounds like you have a very common problem.

It’s clear that you can have a fun conversation when you kick things off (as you say in your email) but you’re just having trouble with the start.

Most guys struggle with the start, not because they don’t have anything to say, but because they’re trying to come up with the killer, all-conquering, panty-loosening opener rather than just saying what they think.

The thing is, there’s no ‘perfect opener’. There’s nothing you can say that’s just going to melt her panties from her body and have her dripping wet all over you. It just doesn’t happen like that.

And to be honest, that’s not really necessary. Before you even open your mouth, she’s made up her mind whether or not you’re the kind of guy who has a chance with her so you don’t actually need to come up with anything clever.

If you’re a yes, then all the opener is designed to do is to give you a chance to start sharing, connecting, and playing with her.

If you’re a no, then it doesn’t matter what you say, you’re not going to change her mind.

So, given that what you say is largely irrelevant, why not go with the easiest, simplest, and often most powerful thing possible.

Something like:

“Hi. I came here the other day and was stunned by how beautiful you looked. I wanted to talk to you and I tried but nothing came out of my mouth. I’m back again because I didn’t want to let this opportunity pass without at least finding out what kind of person you are. My name’s…..”

She might hate it. She might love it. But that’s not the point.

The point is for you to start the conversation and give you a chance to have fun with her.

Unless you start talking, you’re never going to have that chance so anything is better than nothing. And exactly what you’re thinking is the easiest ‘anything’ you can ever come up with.

As a bonus, there are two really important lessons you’ll learn if you actually do this:

1. The easiest way is also the most obvious way. You don’t have to be clever. You don’t have to be funny. Balls out honest will get you past any invisible barrier you come up against.

2. You’re the only one holding you back. There’s no lack of knowledge, skill, technique, or super secret power weapon that’s preventing you from meeting the women you want. It’s just you.

What a deal!!! Easy conversation starter and two invaluable lessons. What more could you ask for?

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