Read This If You Have Female Friends.

by Steven on April 14, 2010 · No Comments

When I was going through my Mr Nice Guy Who Women Just Want To Be Friends With (TM) phase…

..I befriended lots of women.

They weren’t honest friendships – I harboured “secret crushes” on most of them, and secretly hoped that once they realise how great and stable and smart I am..

..they will want to have me as a boyfriend.

Right?

Plus, I fed off the validation that came with having girls around me – surely when other people see me with these chicks, they’ll think I’m f*cking at lease some of them, right?

I also thought that by having them as friends, I was getting a “secret inside education” on what women want in a man..

Girls talk amongst themselves about men, right?

I figured if I could participate in those discussions, I could learn a lot about what they want – and then just go out and model my behaviour on their “guidelines” .. and I’d be irresistible.

Right?

Here’s what REALLY happened.

As I listened to their stories about the “bad” and “annoying” and “sleazy” things that guys did, I became convinced that women DON’T LIKE MEN.

I also truly absorbed the belief that women don’t like sex. It seems absurd now, but I remember looking at hot women and thinking that such creatures surely DON’T HAVE SEX.

I’ve seen so many of them reject men – and that was backed up by feedback from my hot female friends that they hate when guys approach them, and all they care about is sex..

..that I truly to began to believe that women don’t appreciate when a man approaches them and objectifies them.

The result?

Mr Nice Guy inside me started to be even more of e Mr Nice Guy. After all, I had all these women telling me that this is what they wanted!

Of course, what I didn’t realise that they didn’t share with me the OTHER SIDE of their sexuality..

..of how much they loved to be f*cked by a random stranger the night before, and how it was so wrong, but yet so mind-bogglingly hot..

..of how they loved to be taken and ravished by a man who is not necessarily “the one” .. but as Zan likes to say, one that they would remember.

The reason I’m sharing this with you is because I come across a lot of advice which says:

“You should befriend lots of female friends – they can be great wingwomen – and they have other female friends you can hook up with”.

Well, that was my strategy, and it didn’t really work.

All I got was a head full of nonsensical, unproductive worldviews – which, I must add, it has taken me a great deal of time to “reverse” – and a whole lotta fake friendships.

It could have spent that time finding people I actually cared about.

It was just another external solution to an internal problem. Which, after many years, has began to show its limitations.

Moral of the story (as we always tend to say here): fix the internal stuff first, and you will not need to rely on anything outside yourself.

I must add – there is nothing wrong with having female friends – and I wouldn’t discourage anyone from having those friendships.

The question I’d encourage to think about is WHY you have created those friendships, and what purpose they’re serving. And if you discover that the purpose is not serving you, then it could be time to change your habits.

Steven