Your mum probably told you about just as many times as your friends did.

And, funnily enough, it’s one of the few pieces of information that has transcended the community from the general population.

But unless you’re very careful, developing confidence can be one of the very things that holds you back from getting the success with women you want.

It can take a relatively straightforward journey and turn it into a never ending roller-coaster of brilliant highs and miserable lows.

Lets try a little exercise here:

I want you to imagine yourself at your most confident.

I want you to put yourself back in the place in your life where you’ve just felt invincible, like nothing could stop you.

It may have been when you got that girl you were chasing, it may have been that night where it was just on with every girl you saw, it may have been when you won your football grand-final, whatever it is:

Find your place of power.

How does it feel to you? How does it feel to be there? If you haven’t got a place you can recall, just visualise a confident version of yourself.

Then imagine the woman of your dreams standing in front of whatever your image of perfection in this moment happens to be. Is she blonde? Brunette? Curves? Model thin?

Then imagine her standing, looking at you, smiling, with that look of love and devotion, how does it feel?
And then it changes.

All of a sudden it’s not love any more, it’s slowly changing. First to indifference, then to unfamiliarity, then to distrust, and finally, hate.

“I don’t like you. You’re not worthy of me.” She says. “You’re not worthy of anything, you’re just shit. You’re just a piece of shit. You’re not fun, you’re not cool, you’re just shit at life.”

Yeah… It’s pretty rough.

We’ve all been there. And yes, you’re going to like shit if something like that was to happen.

But what are your thoughts about what she’s said? Do you sit there, wallowing in self pity or do you accept that she thinks that and move on with your journey?

If you’re anything like most guys in the community, you’ve just hit the downward side of the roller-coaster.

You’ve just taken the plunge down that slippery, slippery slope that’s going to put you right back where you started again.

But this doesn’t happen to everyone.

Some people are able to bounce back very quickly from something like this and can even take it as a positive step forward in them finding the woman of their dreams.

What’s the difference?

There’s one key element of true self confidence that’s lacking that means you get stuck on this ride.

The community tells you that the way to becoming more confident is performing the same action successfully, again and again.

It says that when you can achieve an outcome repeatedly, then you will be confident. And it can feel like that too! But basing your confidence on your ability to achieve a specific outcome can be very dangerous.

Why?

I want you to imagine yourself in your favourite bar. Then you see the girl of your dreams. Can you guarantee that you can make her like you? Can you guarantee that she’s going to want to be with you?

No. You cannot.

Even if you were the most awesome person in the entire world, even if you were the Dalai Lama, you still could not guarantee anything.

Why? Because she’s a human being.

She’s had experiences, interpreted those experiences, and come up with a totally different map of the world to you.

She may dislike you because of the colour of your skin. She may dislike you because of the way you dress.

She may dislike you because of your height. She may just be in a really shit mood; she may have just seen her ex-boyfriend hooking up with another girl, you don’t know.

You cannot guarantee this external outcome.

Or ANY external outcome for that matter.

If you base how good you feel about yourself on your ability to achieve an external outcome, you’re trapping yourself on an endless roller-coaster.

You cannot now, or ever will you be able to, guarantee an external outcome. Ever.

There is no way it’s possible because there are factors involved in achieving an external outcome that lie outside your control because they’re external to you.

They’re simply not in your sphere of influence.

You may be able to increase the likelihood of success by accounting and preparing for these possible external elements but there will always be a chance of failure.

If you choose to base your self confidence on this then you’re going to be riding the seduction roller-coaster forever.

You’ll be stuck relying on the next big guru to give you the latest piece of technology to overcome these continually occurring problems.

If you study and study and study, you may be able to get to a point where you’re able to get the girls you want fairly consistently, and during this time, you’re going to feel pretty good about yourself.

But as soon as you can’t, it’s all going to go downhill.

Mystery’s breakdown in Style’s famous book ‘The Game’ (pg. 193) is a perfect example of this.

He’s traveling around America, seducing women, feeling great, then all of a sudden, a girl he’s interested in goes back to her boyfriend and-

“Mystery went quiet. He didn’t speak for ten minutes. Whenever we asked him a question, he responded monosyllabically. It wasn’t that he loved Carly, he just hated rejection” (p.181).

From there, he goes to see his ex-girlfriend. She’s lost 15 pounds, has a great arse and wont take him back because she’s seeing other guys.

He gets worse.

He goes from threatening a Reverend with a knife to locking himself in his apartment and spending days masturbating to internet porn.

This ‘black hole sucking up attention’ (p.192) was surviving on anti-depressants just so he could sleep.
The roller-coaster he’s riding moves closer and closer to the bottom of its journey.

He was thinking about death a lot, thinking about hurting himself and doing something destructive, and suicide -
“When I’m awake, life sucks. It’s futile” (p.199).

Mystery’s feelings of self worth are based off his ability to achieve external results.

Being ‘the world’s greatest pickup artist’ is the source of his confidence and when he doesn’t live up to that image, he goes completely down hill.

The only thing that was able to pull him out of that dark, dark place was months of therapy. Does that sound like something you want to choose to bring into your life?

So what do you do? How do you get off this roller-coaster and still be able to get the results you want?

The problem is based around how you value yourself.

If you’re looking at external factors to let you know how good you are, you’re going to keep getting the same result: up and down and up and down. It’s a never ending ride.

The secret to getting off this roller-coaster is shifting how you value yourself.

The self-confidence that the seduction gurus have been ramming down your throat is self-belief, which is only one component of self-confidence.

There are two major parts to confidence.

Other major part that they’re missing is self acceptance.

Self-acceptance isn’t about feeling good because you’re good at this, or can do that, or can get this goal. It’s about feeling good about regardless of what you can or can’t do.

It’s about fully accepting yourself, as you are, right now, and that in this moment, you could not be anything other than what you are, right now.

Lets say you were back standing in front of the woman of your dreams again.

You’re standing looking at her smile…

…Looking at her as that smile turns to a from of hate, and she lets go on you again. If you’d based your self worth on how she reacts to you, you’re going to feel like shit.

But, if you based your self worth on how much fun you create in your life and how much you love yourself for the sake of loving yourself, then you might feel a bit sad, but you also might feel a bit happy.

Sadness would come from the fact that she’s not the girl of your dreams, but happiness would come from knowing automatically that…

This girl isn’t actually the girl of your dreams.

And you didn’t waste years of your life with her. You can move on from her and find the actual girl of your dreams.

Here’s something to play with in your mind:

If how you feel when she tells you to fuck off depends on how you feel about yourself, is it going to be a faster path to mastery to keep learning new and different ways to stop her from telling you to fuck off?

Or is it going to be faster to simply feel better about your self? So, the inevitable question, how do you develop self-acceptance?

Well, just hold on to your horses for a minute.

I’m going to go through and explain how the issue you’re facing here is at the core of just about every issue your facing and then I’ll show you how you can solve them all at once.

—

You’ve just read Chapter 7 of Seduction Community Sucks. You can download the full book for FREE at the Seduction Community Sucks Website.

More specifically, that women are attracted to men with MONEY.

The seduction community has gone to some way to upset that myth…

Mostly, by demonstrating that a guy who can banter…

…can tool a “high-status” businessman type in a bar, and keep a woman’s attention much more effectively than the latter’s offers of free drinks.

Nonetheless, some dating gurus still maintain that status, which is associated with having wealth, can compensate – at least in part – for lack of deep inner confidence…

…and ability to be 100% present with a woman, no matter what she throws at you.

Here’s the spanner in those works, however.

As part of my bartending gigs I have met quite a few rich men. They have been my long-term regulars in bars I work.

And, like the popular stereotype goes, I’ve seen many of them attract women with ease.

However, I’ve seen just as many of them struggle at attracting women.

I remember working at a private function in an exclusive Bondi Beach restaurant last summer…

Beautiful girls wearing summer dresses were skipping about, laughing and sipping Champagne on the sun-drenched balconies.

Also at the party was a guy there who was the founder of a major footwear / sportswear company. I won’t reveal which one, but to put it mildly, he was loaded.

And relatively young.

All day he tried to impress girls with his wealth, buying rounds of martinis, and smiling politely. They would give him a tight-lipped smile back, take the free drinks and ….

Politely, but promptly cut him out of the conversation.

I was chatting about this with a beautiful femme friend of mine recently, who is a self-confessed magnet for rich men.

She said something to me that was unexpected:

“There’s never a shortage of rich old men hitting on you”.

It really made me think, because despite all my involvement in inner game at all this AI stuff…

…a part of me still exists which thinks I’ll be able to compensate for some of my inner flaws with … stuff, junk, money and toys.

Maybe I will be able to – to a small extent. I mean, trophy wives do exist, right? But then do I really want to be with a woman who is lured by bling and status?

Will pursuit of such woman be a journey of growth and discovery? Or that of hollow pleasures and cheap thrills?

Thinking like that really helps realign priorities and focus on what matters.

I really don’t want to be a 50-something year old man, single, rich and hoping that my toys buy me some love which I can’t get myself.

Another story would be being old, rich, and using using toys as a seasoning of sorts, would be a totally different story. Something like this, perhaps:
;)

You’ve had a good week. You’re feeling good. You’re looking good.

You’re ‘in state’. Everything just works. You destroy the bar.

Every woman is asking her friends, “Who *IS* that guy?”

Everything is right with the world. You are popular. You are happy. You are fucking awesome!

I can relate ;)

Do you ever have nights where you’re just ‘off’?

You’ve had a bad week. You’re feeling bad. You’re looking bad. You’re out of state. Everything you touch turns to shit. The bar owns you.

Every woman recoils from you in revulsion.

Dude: you SUCK.

I can relate :(

On my way home from a seminar on pickup, I was feeling fantastic.

Finally, I got it. I got women. Women were solved. No joke, I felt absolutely bulletproof. You could’ve put Scarlett Johansson in front
of me on the street outside and I would not have hesitated.

Yet, at the same time… there was fear.

I was scared of losing this newfound confidence.

After all, hadn’t I been here before? After a self-help seminar, after a football victory, during a ‘lucky streak’, after OTHER pickup seminars, I remembered having amazing confidence…

…for a time.

Then: back to swings and merry-go-rounds. Up and down.

Again, here I was, a fresh ‘PUA’, afraid of falling back into my old ‘AFC’ ways.

Before, I was unhappy, out of touch with what I wanted, and shy.

So the feeling on this summer evening was that my confidence was just a transient illusion and that soon, I’d revert back to the
real me –

- the depressed, uncharismatic me (of course, there was everyreason to believe that THAT version of me, the old version, was the
real illusion – but at the time it didn’t feel like that).

I wanted confidence!

It seemed the basis of attraction, connection and happiness… and so temperamental.

I felt like an AA member always on the verge of relapse.

Staying ’sober’ was a daily struggle – if the challenge became too great, it was always a temptation to throw in the towel. Being drunk was my ‘natural’ state…

…being sober was an effort.

Was this AA mindset an appropriate analogy? Was it really true that ‘confidence’ was an effort, something to ‘do’?

I believed it’s easy and natural to be shy and depressed – that takes no effort (right?).

Confidence takes effort (right?)

What *IS* confidence?

“I KNOW I can do this. I know I can fuck her. I know I’m awesome.”

Is that confidence? Or is it hubris? Or is it bullshitting yourself?

I have it on good authority that confidence is absence of fear.

“Maybe I’ll get her, maybe I won’t. I want her, but I don’t need her. My life will go on, with me pursuing what makes me happy.”

When I feel confident, it’s great: I do what I want. But then, what if something shakes me?

Imagine walking along the beach when you see an amazingly beautiful women. She’s with her girlfriends, laughing and rubbing lotion over her perfect body.

How do you feel?

“Do I approach her? What do I say? What if she laughs at me? I’ll lose my confidence. I’ll be shy, think sad thoughts, hold back.”

Which is easier:

- to have confidence (i.e., to focus on what I want, not take up mental energy with the opinions of others, do what I feel like, be myself, be natural), or

- not (to focus on fear and try to anticipate what others are thinking/wanting, play social games, put on a facade)?

That’s when I realised that having confidence is actually much easier than not having it.

Here is where it gets all Zen and profound and shit: I was busy trying to protect my confidence because I was scared of relapsing…

…but with this very act, I was destroying my confidence by focusing on fear.

If I’d let it go, I would’ve found that natural childlike confidence there for taking.

I know what you’re thinking-

“What about the next time I REALLY fuck up? What if I DO fall into old habits and focus on fear?…

…What if I get shot down by a beautiful woman on the beach and it trashes my confidence, in spite of my best intentions? …

….Is this all just pointless keyboard jockeying? Word trickery? Some bullshit mindhack?”

-And I like your style.

You’re really analysing this stuff – usually a terrible idea, in my opinion. But since you’re making the effort I’d better come clean:

Nobody’s perfect. I feel scared sometimes, I feel nervous, I make mistakes. I just don’t feel that these things are related to my confidence.

A successful man said, “Sometimes, all I have is my confidence.” This blew my mind when I heard it. All you have? How does that make any sense?

Doesn’t confidence come AFTER you’re reassured that everything is alright?

He elaborated and said that there is good and bad in everything, and you can choose what you focus on. He, personally, would rather be happy than sad, so he focuses on the good.

So even if you’re scared, confidence is a choice – and the easier, more natural one.

Once you really get this, you won’t be worried about falling back into bad habits. I’m not.

Luke (deepPlay)

They told you that by following their rules, you’ll become Alpha.

But before you more of your time reading ‘must have’, top secret, supersized secrets of seduction, I want you to consider this:

Which guy sounds more Alpha to you?

1. The guy who is too scared to be his real self, and who hides behind the walls dating rules and seduction theory?

2. The guy who knows what he wants and goes after it – regardless of whether or not it’s written in an e-book or not….

… Because he’s stripped back all the bullshit layers, knows what he wants, and what he stands or on his deepest level – and pursues it relentlessly.

And which one do you think is going to be more attractive to confident, attractive women?

So, which path do you want to take?

LoGun