..is that they’re missing the most vital point of a conversation – the other person.

All they’re focusing on is..

..what they could say next or where they could try and squeeze in their latest DHV routine that they forget the fact that there’s another person standing across from them who’s actually part of building the conversation with them.

I remember sitting with one student through a conversation and listening till he ejected.

When I asked why, he said because there wasn’t anything to talk about yet I managed to count 22 different things that she mentioned that she clearly would’ve been open to talking about but he just passed over.

If he’d stopped for a second and listened, then I’m pretty sure he could still be talking now if he wanted to!

But why wasn’t he? And why don’t most guys actually listen? This comes back to a deeper level:

The things you notice are a product of what you’re focusing on.

You’re not going to notice what she’s talking about when all you’re focused on is what ’stage’ you’re at in the interaction and what DHV routine you should use next.

But, if you’re focus is directed towards her and what she’s giving you, then you’re much more likely to notice what she’s saying.

Where you focus is a product of what you’re trying to achieve.

If you’re just trying to work out a way to impress her or seduce her, then you’re going to be stuck inside your head trying to work out where you are in the seduction process or what DHV routine you can come up with next to impress her.

If you’re focused on trying to work out if she’s the kind of woman you want in your life then you’re going to be listening to what she’s saying and paying attention to the non-verbal communication she’s giving you.

The other added bonus..

..Of trying to work out if she’s the kind of person that you want in your life is that you’re also going to qualify, SOI, lead and escalate without even trying to.

Ever wonder why it’s so much easier to talk to and seduce women you’re not interested in?

Because you’re not stuck in your head trying to come up with shit to impress her with and you actually pay attention to the most important part of the seduction:

HER.

So, if you’re running out of things to say, you might want to stop for a second and actually listen to what she’s saying.

You might just surprise yourself with how much there is to talk about.

LoGun

Who would’ve thought that 5 pounds of fat could be so alluring..

Who would’ve thought you would spend months, if not years, devoted to bringing that 5 pound lump with a nipple on it, back to your place?

Crazy, huh?

You know that we deal primarily with long-term benefits of inner game on this blog…

…but I figured I should also give you a few short-term solutions which you can start using IMMEDIATELY to get more of those little fun bags into your life.

Sorry, what was that?

You say there’s already too many of these “Picking Up Women 101″ guides out there?

Really, I hadn’t noticed… The 200 spam emails I get each week, promoting the latest “quick fix” and “magic bullet” wasn’t enough of an indication.

That’s why this isn’t going to be some kind of 85-step “method” which requires 3 years of “internalisation” before you actually pick up a woman.

Instead, it’s going to be a no bullshit, get to the core, cut out the crap, just work on the simple parts, easy, simple, straight forward guide to picking up women.

And you can pick up a woman in TWO easy steps.

And you have to do them in the exact order, otherwise this whole system falls apart.

That’s right. If you fuck up the order, you’re not going to pick up a woman.

STEP 1. Work out how you want your world to be.
STEP 2. Settle for nothing less than that from yourself and the people in your life.

Yeah, I get that you’re wondering how this is going to help you pick up women in field…

…when every wannabe PUA out there is telling you that you need to follow their elaborate “seduction methods” and “dating tips”.

So let’s go on a little adventure.

You can be my wingman tonight…

And I’m going to show you how it works and how it can help you make picking up women easy and fun. Sound good?

Sweet. Strap yourself in my friend, it’s going to be a wild ride.

But before we go, I should point out something. This maybe the ‘you’ now, or it maybe a future ‘you’. It may even be a ‘you’ that you’ve seen in the past and want to get back to.

Whichever one it is, it’s definitely a ‘you’ that you can access if you can break through the barriers that you’re using to hold yourself back.

One foot, then the other.

Step by step we make our way to the writhing sea of humanity that awaits our imminent arrival.

And you don’t even have to in there to experience the energy. As we turn the corner, still 20m from the thumping music and sexy women of bar, we’re greeted by a close friend: the back of the queue.

Hey, if it wasn’t popular, why would you bother going? :-)

So it’s a this point, before any of the action starts, I want you just to take a minute to implement STEP 1.

Normally, we’d do this way before we hit the bar but this is as good a point as any in this guide to do this.

So, remember to get the steps in the right order here. I know it’s complicated and can be confusing, but please try. Otherwise the whole thing is fucked up :-)

This is the point in time where most people look at me and ask ‘What the fuck do you mean by how do I want my world to be?’

And it’s a fair enough question. We’ve got an exercise in the MasterClass where we go into depth with this but for now, just consider this:

“How do you want your world to be?”…

Is essentially a question about what kind of reality are you trying to create in your future.

Who’s it going to be filled with, what are you going to do in it? How are you going to spend your time?

What are you going to think about? Where are you going to live? But for now, as we don’t have that much time, lets just leave it at.

What kind of people do you want to fill your world with? There’s all different types of people in the world, which ones are you going to choose?

- Do you want your world filled with compassionate people or arseholes?
- Do you want your world filled with caring people or dickheads?
- Do you want your world filled with respectful people or disrespectful people?
- Do you want your world filled with open and trusting people or closed down and fearful people?
- Do you want your world filled with fun and playful people or boring and serious people?
- You’re going to encounter all sorts in your journey, which ones are you going to bring in and which ones are you going to move away from?

Good. So we’ve nailed STEP 1. Think you’re ready for STEP 2?

Have a look at your answers. What kind of standards are you going to accept from people around you? Now, the important part – what kind of standards are you going to accept from yourself?

Good. Now’s a good time to introduce a quote from my favourite bed sheet wearing vegetarian, Ghandi:

“Be the change you wish to see in the world”.

He may have constantly smelt like off cabbage but he was dammed switched on.

This is when you feel a poke in the shoulder “Ummm… Are you actually part of this queue or are you just lonely and looking for people to be around?”

This is when you realise that you’ve been daydreaming so long that I’ve moved almost 5m ahead or you and you’re just standing there by yourself looking stoned.

Hey, don’t blame me, you looked like you were having fun :-)

As you catch up to me, you see me playing with a cute girl:

“Look, I’d just like to apologise in advance if my friend here drools on you. Autism is a new thing for him and he’s still learning the ropes.”

Giggling, she looks at you.

This is your chance to implement this complicated and intricate 2-STEP seduction method I just told you about. How do you respond to this? Are you going hit me and say ‘fuck off’?

Is that the kind of world you want?

Are you going to sulk and walk off? Is that the kind of world you want?

Or, are you going hang your tongue out of your mouth, shake your head around, make some retarded noises, and pretend to slobber on her shoulder?

Well, it’s your world, but I know how I want my world to be.

As your slobber inches closer and closer to her shoulder, she playfully squeals and pretends to run away. Mission accomplished :-) Or so you think…

“Hey mate, that’s not funny. My brother is autistic.”

The guy behind you obviously didn’t agree with your interpretation.

Right now, you’re faced with another set of options.

You can tell him to fuck off as you’re just mucking around, but does that match the way you want your world to be?

You can shrug it off, mumble “I’m sorry…” and turn back around, but does that match the way you want your world to be?

Or, you can sincerely apologise for any issues you’ve caused, share why you did things, and then talk to him openly and freely.

“Sorry mate, I really am. I didn’t mean to offend anyone, I was just having a laugh. It was just a joke. Here, let me make it up to you, do you want to jump ahead of us?”

He responds with:

“That’s cool mate. I just see it a bit and it pisses me off when people have a go at him. You were just having a laugh. I get it. I just get a bit edgy…”

“I understand mate. Sorry. My bad. I recon you’re just jealous because you wanted me to drool on your shoulder. It’s OK mate, you just have to ask” :-)

Just as he starts to respond, you’re greeted with 8′5″ of Tongan fury…

“Hey bro. ID???”

Now it’s time for another one of those choices – the choices that we make in every moment, of every day, of every month, of every year – how do I want my world to be?

Do I want it filled with anger? “Mate, you just have to ask! What’s your problem??”

Do I want it filled with disrespect? “Oh, you think you’re so powerful, just because you’re a doorman at a shitty bar??”

Do I want it filled with arseholes? “How do you think you are to talk to me like that? Do you know who I am?”

Or do you want it filled with compassion, understanding, openness, and fun?:

“Sorry brother, this new friend of mine was just telling me how much he desires to get naked and roll in my saliva and I got distracted” :-)

A laugh, a drivers license, and a handshake later, you’re through the door.

It’s time to play.

The little cute girly you almost drooled on in the queue is just in front of you. Decision time. Open to her or shut down?

Be playful with her of be serious? Stand back and try and thin of something clever to say, go over and make a situational comment, or walk up and pretend to drool on her shoulder again?

Good choice.

Giggles. Jumps. Hides behind her friend.

Just as a side note – God I love it when women giggle. There’s just something about it that drives me wild. Wow…

….

I need a minute…

…

Ok, done :-)

Now, back to the girl. Your shuffle over to her, playful and beaming. Enter: the AFOG.

4 foot of staunch, powerful, determination blocks your path:

“What are you doing? She has a boyfriend!.”

Decision time once again.

“Oh, that’s a pity. I’ve been saving the ‘drooling on her’ pickup for this one special moment and it’s all been a waste!! What about you, do you have a boyfriend?”

As you turn on your playful ’seducer’ look start to pretend to drool on her, she can’t help but crack a smile. Win.

AFOG steps aside, but then the true colours of your girl come out:

“Yeah, I was at this mall the other day and I saw this spastic, running around and actually drooling and shit. We just laughed at him, he looked sooo retarded…”

Decision time again.

Is this how you want your world to be? Is this the kind of woman you want in your life?

But now another decision time. How do you respond? Do you blow up? Do you just turn away in disgust? What do you do? How do you want your world to be?

“Yeah, it must be really hard for them, not having the kind of control over their bodies that we’re lucky enough to have. Anyway, have a good night.”

As you walk away, the guy from the queue appears in front of you. You can’t help yourself:

“Hey sexy, miss me?” ;-)

“Like you wouldn’t believe… Ohhh… Come to me…”

As he wraps his arms around your chest and pulls you in tight, there’s only one thing going through your head: I hope he’s for real… I mean: This guy’s cool. That’s definitely what you were thinking ;-)

As you remove yourself from his strong, yet strangely comforting embrace…

You notice for the first time, the 5′3″ sex bomb standing opposite.

Decision time. Indirect? Situational? Natural game line you’ve read somewhere? How about exactly what you were thinking?

How about genuineness, openness, and realness?

“Wow…” You turn to your new ‘gay lover’.

“She’s stunning, is that who you’ve been cheating on me with the whole time?”

As you turn to her, it appears as though blushing is in this season.

He totally camps it up:

“I’m so sorry you had to find out this way…” then he throws his arms around her. She fights him off with everything she’s got.

Apparently it’s not his girlfriend.

Decision time. Neg? Banter deck? DHV? How about exactly how you feel? How about genuineness, openness, and realness?

“Well, if you had to pick anyone, I’m glad it’s someone who’s so strikingly beautiful that I find it hard to talk… Hi…”

“Hi…” And you know the look. That coy little, downward, glance, the blush.

You know it’s on.

“Oh, no, sorry, I wasn’t talking to you.” You say shifting your body language to the guy next to her.

Slap. Pout. Apology. “Come here…” Hug.

“You’re kinda cute, where have you been all my life?”

Her smile says it all – waiting. Waiting for a Man who’s able to create a space that I can be free in.

That I can let go to. A space that’s so powerful and compelling that I would pay money, just to be allowed to spend time in it, just for a few minutes.

As you take her hand and lead her only a few steps away to some empty bar stools, another decision time approaches.

How are you going to be, now?

What kind of actions are you going to take? How are you going to be when you’re with her? How do you want this relationship to be?

Are you going to try and impress her with stories of your celebrity encounters?

Are you going to try and big note yourself with all the things you’ve done?

Or are you going to drop your boundaries, let go of the bullshit you’ve been running, and openly express your desires, passions, and plans for your future?

You open. She opens.

You don’t have to think about what to say or how to act because it comes out of your realness and openness.

You don’t run out of things to say because you’re not trying to hold anything back from her.

You don’t have to consciously read her body language to decipher what she’s communicating because your attention is fully on her and it’s obvious.

You’re not stuck in your head so you’re free to be in hers.

You’re real and open and she’s follows your lead.

It’s at this point in time you realise that I’m standing 2 feet away from you, looking at you, trying to get your attention.

As I’m a whingey, impatient, petulant child, and you’re giving me a lift home, I *politely ask* that we leave.

“Why? it’s only early”.

“Yeah, early in the morning. It’s 3:30″ You’ve been with the girl for 4 hours and you didn’t even notice.

It’s amazing how fast time flies when you find someone you actually click with.

You know this is the kind of woman you want in your life.

You know that she’s the kind of girl who embodies everything you’ve been looking for. So you tell her. And she tells you the same thing back.

“Where do you live, why don’t I give you a lift home?”

What happens next? Who knows. But you could find out soon enough, if you choose to.

Now, most seduction community guys throw this kind of thing out the window, saying:

“But there’s just steps you need to learn! There’s things that you have to implement in order to be attractive to women!”

OK, cool. Lets have a look at them.

You have to develop social proof.

You did this with both the autistic hater, the autistic guys brother, and the bouncer, because you knew how you wanted your world to be and you accepted nothing less from yourself or others.

You have to develop attraction.

This is done by being an Alpha Male. You did this the whole night because you knew how you wanted your world to be and you accepted nothing less from yourself or others.

You didn’t wait for other people to tell you how to live your life, you just did it your way.

You have to deal with AMOG’s.

You did this with the man hater because you knew how you wanted your world to be and you accepted nothing less from yourself or others.

You have to qualify.

You did that with the autistic hating girl because you knew how you wanted your world to be and you accepted nothing less from yourself or others.

You have to show attraction, or SOI (statement of interest) to her – so that she knows you like her.

You did this with the stunning girl because you knew how you wanted your world to be and you accepted nothing less from yourself or others.

You have to develop rapport.

What is rapport? Connection. You achieve this by dropping your barriers and opening up and finding someone who’s going to open up back.

You did this with the stunning girl because you knew how you wanted your world to be and you accepted nothing less from yourself or others.

It’s all there.

You didn’t have to learn it, you didn’t have to try and create it, you just did it. How? You knew how you wanted your world to be and you accepted nothing less from yourself or those around you.

Am I saying that you’ll get every girl by going this way? Of course not. But you will fill your life with the kind of people who bring you intrinsic satisfaction and joy.

How does that sound to you?

Now, it’s one thing to tell you to do this but in most cases it’s really not that easy. If it were, you’d just be able walk outside and do it now.

There’s a reason we take any action in our lives and that includes the way we act around women. There’s much deeper layers going on.

To help you start uncovering them, and let the amazing guy inside you come out, we’ve created the MasterClass MKII.

At the end of Feb we will be taking on a few students, so if walking into a club and being carefree, not stuck in your head, and open is your cup of tea, then keep an eye out on Steven’s emails and this blog.

LoGun

There are definitely things that you need to learn in order to attract women.

And without them, you’re never going to get the success you’re looking for.

EVER.

You’re going to relegated to her “let’s just be friends” zone for the rest of your life with all the other AFC’s.

The first thing you should learn is how to “open” women.

Because without that, you can’t start a conversation with them.

You must learn opinion openers.

(To show that you don’t find her attractive without knowing anything about her).

This one is very necessary.

Without this, you wont be able to demonstrate to her that you have standards in your life that run beyond the superficial elements of how she looks.

But you should also learn some direct openers. To show women that you’re attracted to them and have the balls to say what you think.

Then, once you’ve done that, you should learn high-octane attraction material.

Especially DHV’s.

(To show that you’re the kind of guy who goes after what he wants in life and therefore lives an exciting life filled with passion and adventure).

Oh, and don’t forget to learn some Alpha Male characteristics – to demonstrate that you’re willing to stand up for what you believe in.

Then, you need to learn qualification.

NEED. This one is crucial.

You need to learn this to convince her that you have standards in your life and that you’re only going to accept people who live up to them.

Once you’ve made your way through qualification, you should probably learn a couple of routine stacks.

This way, even if she’s the kind of woman you have nothing in common with and really have nothing to talk about with, you can continue the conversation.

Then, after you’ve made your way through that, you should learn how to close women properly.

If you don’t, there’s no way you’re going to be able to ask her for her phone number. It’s just faaaaaarrrrr too complicated to do without learning some powerful closing techniques.

So, to quickly recap:

– You should learn indirect openers to prove that you’re not attracted to her without knowing something deeper about her

– You should learn direct openers to show her you have the balls to go after what you want in life

– You should learn DHV’s to convince her that you lead an exciting life that she wants to be part of

– You should learn Alpha Male characteristics to show her that you stand up for what you believe in

– You should learn qualification to prove to her that you have standards for the people you bring into you life

– You should learn closing to make sure she doesn’t “slip away” after you spent all that time “gaming” her.

You should learn all these skills…

…one by one.

…So that you can pretend to be the kind of guy that does all these things naturally.

You should devote months and months, or even years, to sitting behind a computer screen, reading and reading, and then going out in field to implement these concepts…

…one at a time.

Until you do all these things without thinking, just so you can convince her that all these attractive elements are part of who you really are.

It’s obviously the easiest and most fun way. And the most authentic. That’s how a real man behaves, isn’t it?

Because you couldn’t just become the guy who actually has standards.

You couldn’t just get rid of the roadblocks that are preventing you from going after what you want in life.

You couldn’t just get rid of the excuses that you’re using to prevent yourself from actually BEING the kind of guy who does these things naturally…

…who knows what he wants in life and unashamedly goes after it.

That would be far too simple, quick, and easy.

You NEED to just pretend to do these things and hope that she doesn’t see through your thin facade.

You need to spend your life, changing who you are, just so that women who you don’t actually have anything in common with will hang out with you.

If you just hide the fact that you would be the kind of guy that she’s naturally drawn to if you didn’t use all these mental barriers to hold yourself back…

…she’ll definitely want to spend lots of time with you.

And that time will be rewarding and fulfilling because she’ll like you for who you pretend to be, rather than who you actually are.

LoGun

And despite their different titles, flashy logos and high-budget marketing, they’re all actually teaching you the same thing.

Yes, yes, they say that they all have different methods, seduction “secrets” and dating tips.

But at its heart, everything they teach is this: how to *ACT* as if you didn’t need her to be fulfilled.

That’s it.

They have variations in their pathways, but it’s all designed to get you to that same point.

I’m now going to let you in on a little secret that means you wont have to waste any more time – or money – chasing a pathway that never actually gets you where you want.

To show you, lets have a look at some of the most common seduction techniques.

Indirect openers are designed to demonstrate that you’re not actually interested in her – and that she has to prove herself to you before you demonstrate interest.

Direct openers are designed to show her that you’re the kind of guy who goes after what he wants in life, the kind of guy who is courageous.

Qualification is designed to demonstrate that you want her in your life for something other then her looks.

DHV’s are designed to show her that your life is fun without her.

Negs are designed to show her that you’re not like every other guy who’s just trying to get her into bed.

C&F is designed to show her that you’re playful, fun, and high value.

Routines are designed to give you things to talk about you know she’s going to find interesting.

What if, instead of trying to pretend like you didn’t need to her to be fulfilled, you actually were fulfilled without her?

Do you think you’d need indirect openers to show her that you weren’t interested in her before you get to know her? Or do you think you’d much more selective with the people you bring into your life?

Do you think you’d need to learn direct openers to have the courage to say what you thought? Or do you think you’d be much more open and honest – and therefore direct?

Do you think you’d need to learn to qualify? Or do you think you’d actually be looking for women in your life who are more than just ‘their looks’?

Do you think you’d need to learn DHV’s to show how fun and exciting your life is? Or do you think your life would actually be fun and exciting?

Do you think you’d need to learn negs to show how different you are from all those ‘nice guys’ who suck up to women? Or do you think you’d actually *BE* different?

Do you think you’d need to learn C&F? Or do you think you’re more likely to be fun, playful and high value (before you say anything, you know how I feel about value…)?

Do you think you’d need to learn routines so you’ve got things to talk about that she finds interesting? Or do you think you’re more likely to look for girls who can talk about things you find interesting?

The only reason you need to learn seduction is because you’re trying to pretend to be the kind of guy who doesn’t need her. Rather than working on being the kind of guy who doesn’t need her.

Now, which option sounds easier, more fun, and more rewarding:

1. Spending years, learning to suppress all the symptoms of your unhappiness, placing layer after layer of someone else’s personality over the top of the already numerous layers you’re using, right now, only to condemn yourself to having to maintain those layers in the unfortunate chance that she does fall for your lies.

2. Actually becoming fulfilled, happy and creating a life that naturally draws people in. Rather than having to desperately try and drag them in. Stripping back the walls, doing the things that you find rewarding, regardless of what other people think, filling your life with passion, excitement, and adventure, and collecting an army of fun, interesting and adventurous mates along the way, and being able to totally relax and express that cool, Masculine guy whenever you find a woman that you choose to be part of the amazing life you’ve created.

I know which one I’d choose (and have) but it’s your choice.

I know that some people will say that to completely forgo learning ‘game’ and seduction will not make you successful with women.

Sure, there may be an element of truth in there. When I say “FORGET SEDUCTION”, I mean you start with the CORE, and then dabble in some seduction tips and tricks later.

Think of “game” as an icing on the cake, or as a sheath over your sword.

No amount of cake icing is going to rescue a crappy cake, as no fancy sheath is going to help a warrior who is using it to hide his rusty sword.

Take care of your core first. If you feel the need, add some ’seduction’ material on top. But don’t use a thick layer of ’seduction’ as a substitute for what’s inside.

LoGun