Your mum probably told you about just as many times as your friends did.

And, funnily enough, it’s one of the few pieces of information that has transcended the community from the general population.

But unless you’re very careful, developing confidence can be one of the very things that holds you back from getting the success with women you want.

It can take a relatively straightforward journey and turn it into a never ending roller-coaster of brilliant highs and miserable lows.

Lets try a little exercise here:

I want you to imagine yourself at your most confident.

I want you to put yourself back in the place in your life where you’ve just felt invincible, like nothing could stop you.

It may have been when you got that girl you were chasing, it may have been that night where it was just on with every girl you saw, it may have been when you won your football grand-final, whatever it is:

Find your place of power.

How does it feel to you? How does it feel to be there? If you haven’t got a place you can recall, just visualise a confident version of yourself.

Then imagine the woman of your dreams standing in front of whatever your image of perfection in this moment happens to be. Is she blonde? Brunette? Curves? Model thin?

Then imagine her standing, looking at you, smiling, with that look of love and devotion, how does it feel?
And then it changes.

All of a sudden it’s not love any more, it’s slowly changing. First to indifference, then to unfamiliarity, then to distrust, and finally, hate.

“I don’t like you. You’re not worthy of me.” She says. “You’re not worthy of anything, you’re just shit. You’re just a piece of shit. You’re not fun, you’re not cool, you’re just shit at life.”

Yeah… It’s pretty rough.

We’ve all been there. And yes, you’re going to like shit if something like that was to happen.

But what are your thoughts about what she’s said? Do you sit there, wallowing in self pity or do you accept that she thinks that and move on with your journey?

If you’re anything like most guys in the community, you’ve just hit the downward side of the roller-coaster.

You’ve just taken the plunge down that slippery, slippery slope that’s going to put you right back where you started again.

But this doesn’t happen to everyone.

Some people are able to bounce back very quickly from something like this and can even take it as a positive step forward in them finding the woman of their dreams.

What’s the difference?

There’s one key element of true self confidence that’s lacking that means you get stuck on this ride.

The community tells you that the way to becoming more confident is performing the same action successfully, again and again.

It says that when you can achieve an outcome repeatedly, then you will be confident. And it can feel like that too! But basing your confidence on your ability to achieve a specific outcome can be very dangerous.

Why?

I want you to imagine yourself in your favourite bar. Then you see the girl of your dreams. Can you guarantee that you can make her like you? Can you guarantee that she’s going to want to be with you?

No. You cannot.

Even if you were the most awesome person in the entire world, even if you were the Dalai Lama, you still could not guarantee anything.

Why? Because she’s a human being.

She’s had experiences, interpreted those experiences, and come up with a totally different map of the world to you.

She may dislike you because of the colour of your skin. She may dislike you because of the way you dress.

She may dislike you because of your height. She may just be in a really shit mood; she may have just seen her ex-boyfriend hooking up with another girl, you don’t know.

You cannot guarantee this external outcome.

Or ANY external outcome for that matter.

If you base how good you feel about yourself on your ability to achieve an external outcome, you’re trapping yourself on an endless roller-coaster.

You cannot now, or ever will you be able to, guarantee an external outcome. Ever.

There is no way it’s possible because there are factors involved in achieving an external outcome that lie outside your control because they’re external to you.

They’re simply not in your sphere of influence.

You may be able to increase the likelihood of success by accounting and preparing for these possible external elements but there will always be a chance of failure.

If you choose to base your self confidence on this then you’re going to be riding the seduction roller-coaster forever.

You’ll be stuck relying on the next big guru to give you the latest piece of technology to overcome these continually occurring problems.

If you study and study and study, you may be able to get to a point where you’re able to get the girls you want fairly consistently, and during this time, you’re going to feel pretty good about yourself.

But as soon as you can’t, it’s all going to go downhill.

Mystery’s breakdown in Style’s famous book ‘The Game’ (pg. 193) is a perfect example of this.

He’s traveling around America, seducing women, feeling great, then all of a sudden, a girl he’s interested in goes back to her boyfriend and-

“Mystery went quiet. He didn’t speak for ten minutes. Whenever we asked him a question, he responded monosyllabically. It wasn’t that he loved Carly, he just hated rejection” (p.181).

From there, he goes to see his ex-girlfriend. She’s lost 15 pounds, has a great arse and wont take him back because she’s seeing other guys.

He gets worse.

He goes from threatening a Reverend with a knife to locking himself in his apartment and spending days masturbating to internet porn.

This ‘black hole sucking up attention’ (p.192) was surviving on anti-depressants just so he could sleep.
The roller-coaster he’s riding moves closer and closer to the bottom of its journey.

He was thinking about death a lot, thinking about hurting himself and doing something destructive, and suicide -
“When I’m awake, life sucks. It’s futile” (p.199).

Mystery’s feelings of self worth are based off his ability to achieve external results.

Being ‘the world’s greatest pickup artist’ is the source of his confidence and when he doesn’t live up to that image, he goes completely down hill.

The only thing that was able to pull him out of that dark, dark place was months of therapy. Does that sound like something you want to choose to bring into your life?

So what do you do? How do you get off this roller-coaster and still be able to get the results you want?

The problem is based around how you value yourself.

If you’re looking at external factors to let you know how good you are, you’re going to keep getting the same result: up and down and up and down. It’s a never ending ride.

The secret to getting off this roller-coaster is shifting how you value yourself.

The self-confidence that the seduction gurus have been ramming down your throat is self-belief, which is only one component of self-confidence.

There are two major parts to confidence.

Other major part that they’re missing is self acceptance.

Self-acceptance isn’t about feeling good because you’re good at this, or can do that, or can get this goal. It’s about feeling good about regardless of what you can or can’t do.

It’s about fully accepting yourself, as you are, right now, and that in this moment, you could not be anything other than what you are, right now.

Lets say you were back standing in front of the woman of your dreams again.

You’re standing looking at her smile…

…Looking at her as that smile turns to a from of hate, and she lets go on you again. If you’d based your self worth on how she reacts to you, you’re going to feel like shit.

But, if you based your self worth on how much fun you create in your life and how much you love yourself for the sake of loving yourself, then you might feel a bit sad, but you also might feel a bit happy.

Sadness would come from the fact that she’s not the girl of your dreams, but happiness would come from knowing automatically that…

This girl isn’t actually the girl of your dreams.

And you didn’t waste years of your life with her. You can move on from her and find the actual girl of your dreams.

Here’s something to play with in your mind:

If how you feel when she tells you to fuck off depends on how you feel about yourself, is it going to be a faster path to mastery to keep learning new and different ways to stop her from telling you to fuck off?

Or is it going to be faster to simply feel better about your self? So, the inevitable question, how do you develop self-acceptance?

Well, just hold on to your horses for a minute.

I’m going to go through and explain how the issue you’re facing here is at the core of just about every issue your facing and then I’ll show you how you can solve them all at once.

—

You’ve just read Chapter 7 of Seduction Community Sucks. You can download the full book for FREE at the Seduction Community Sucks Website.

1. The Role Models:

Dating advice: “Here’s Mystery / Style / other guru, expert. This is how an attractive man behaves. Now go imitate him.”

Religion: “Here’s Jesus / Mohammad / other deity / saint. This is how a good man behaves. Now go imitate him.

2. The Promises:

Dating advice: “If you learn and live by the teachings of this dating guru long enough, you’ll reach the place of sexual abundance, be happy, you’ll fuck virgins, have multiple long term relationships.

Religion: “If you learn and live by the teachings of this deity long enough, you’ll go to heaven, be happy / have eternal life / fuck virgins / have multiple long term relationships”.

3. The Reality:

Dating advice: If you learn and live by the teachings of this dating guru long enough, you’ll still be the same guy, albeit with a head full of confusing theory. You’ll be tempted to become an “online guru”, confidently dispensing dating advice to “chumps”, “chodes” and “AFCs”, and secretly hoping that your own success with women is just around the corner.

Religion: If you learn and live by the teachings of this deity long enough, you’ll still be the same guy, albeit with a head full of confusing scripture. You’ll be tempted to preach your new-found knowledge to “worldly” people and “sinners” during coffee breaks and at bus stops, secretly hoping a better life is just around the corner.

4. The Stumbling Blocks:

Dating advice: If you are somewhere between MPUA and AFC, you’ll end up in a seduction lair.

Religion: If you’re neither saint or sinner, you’ll end up in a purgatory.

5. The Contradictions:

Dating advice: There are plenty of seduction methods to choose from. Every dating guru you meet will tell you that his seduction method is the quickest path into women’s panties. He will happily show you “inconsistencies” in other seduction methods. He will remain oblivious to inconsistencies in his own.

Religion: There are plenty of religions to choose from. Every minister / preacher you meet will tell you that his religion is the most accurate interpretation of God’s message and that everybody else got it wrong. He will happily show you evidence of inconsistencies in other religions. He will remain oblivious to inconsistencies in his own.

6. The Women:

Dating advice: Repress your true feelings for women. If you express what you desire, and act unashamedly upon those desires, you’re going to get blown out. It is wrong.

Religion: Repress your true feelings for them. If you expressing what you desire, and act upon your desire, you’re going straight to hell. It’s wrong.

7. You Are:

Dating advice: You’re broken. You need fixing and guidance. Without dating advice you’ll be a frustrated “hey, let’s just be friends” chump forever.

Religion: You’re imperfect. You need salvation and guidance. Without dating advice you’ll be a rudderless sinner and possibly be destroyed at Armageddon / burn in a fiery pit.