Those beautiful creatures, running around the club, laughing, giggling, and shaking those sexy bodies.

So, how do you attract more women?

It’s a good question.

And before you try and answer it, you need to know about the are two different paths you can go down.

Neither one is better or worse – they’re just different with different sets of benefits and draw backs.

And before you go on your journey, you need to decide which path do you want to go down to attract more women into your life.

Path 1: Pretend to be someone you’re not just so people will hang out with you – The Pick Up Artist (PUA)

This is by far and away the most popular path because it promises so much in the short term.

The PUA path involves simply learning a bunch of lines and/or seduction techniques and then using them to try and attract more women.

You could literally learn something to say to women today and then walk out the door and apply it.

Sound good? Well, hang on a second there.

There’s something that they don’t tell you.

If you just change what you’re like on your surface level, what kind of women are you going to attract?

Shallow women who’re only interested in your surface level characteristics.

If you just change your surface level, what kind of relationships are you going to have? Shallow and meaningless relationships.

If you just change your surface level, how long are these women going to stick around? Just long enough till they find someone who’s got a shinier and prettier surface level.

Does that sound like the kind of life you want?

Lying to attractive women and hiding who you really are, just so you can have meaningless short term relationships?

If so, great. Go mental.

If you want to know where to find guy who can help you with that, download Seduction Community Sucks by clicking on the link under this post.

In the back, there’s a whole bunch of names and websites for guys who can help you down that path.

That’s as much as I can help you with on that path, but there is another way to attract more women.

Path 2: Find who you really are and what you stand for and find those women who are attracted to you for who you really are – unlocking your potential.

This path doesn’t get anywhere near as much attention as the PUA path.

It’s not full of lines and quick tricks you can just throw at women and hope they’ll come running..

..it doesn’t allow you to hide behind more and more layers of lies, it involves you finding your true self, breaking apart the layers that you’re using to hide behind, and letting it out.

It involves being real with people.

And that can be scary.

I was scared when I first started but I knew it was the only way. I wanted a life filled with people who I really liked and who liked me for who I was.

I wanted a life full of attractive, real, genuine, loving and caring women and men who I could be real, and genuine with.

I wanted a life full of people who I could laugh with, play with, go and hang out with – without having to worry about what I should say or who I should be around them.

I wanted to be me, I wanted them to be themselves, and I wanted to have the time of my life.

Sure, I wanted to attract more women.

That’s a no brainer.

But I wanted to attract more women who I could make real connections with rather than just use for meaningless sex.

I wanted to attract more women who I could actually have a real conversation with about the things that were important to me, rather than just having to tell someone else’s stories to keep her amused.

So before you go down this path of trying to attract more women, ask yourself:

“What kind of life do I want to build?”

I think the path you choose will be obvious.

LoGun

If you don’t believe me, jump on your nearest seduction forum and ask anybody how you should proceed “with this current dating issue I am facing”.

Every man and his donkey will jump on board quoting the “latest dating theory findings”…

…as if they were published in a reputable medical journal:

“you MUST do it this way, and NEVER do it this way, and this is FACT!”

But is it?

Is anything that we postulate really “fact”?

Field tested or not, there is no “be all and end all” rule-set that has every answer, every time.

There is no truth.

Not even what I’m writing right now is truth. It is simply an opinion; a different perspective, or viewpoint, communicated to you by somebody other than you.

I do not pretend to know the answers – all I offer is a different perspective.

So in that vein, perhaps you may like to try this on for size:

Whether you’re purchasing a dating guru’s e-book, or attending the next greatest pickup artist super-conference, there’s no need to believe everything that is communicated to you as fact.

Instead, take it all on as a perspective you’ve not thought of just yet; a different uniform to wear when you go out and interact with the world.

It’s simply something to try on-

-Not something that has to define who you are.

When you’re told you should “NEVER supplicate to a woman because that comes off as being too needy”…

…don’t just blindly accept that advice. Simply try it on and see how it works for you.

Do you think that it’s possible that men have supplicated to “high-value” women in the past before, and NOT come off as needy?

You bet your ass it’s possible.

So does that mean that YOU should NEVER supplicate to a woman because it will come off as needy?

Maybe, maybe not.

But you’re not going to know until you try it on, rather than just blindly accept it.

You’re an intelligent guy – you have to be, if you’re into this sort of personal development stuff. So stop selling your own intelligence short.

Come up with your own rulebook…

…The one that works for you, independent of what all the dating guru’s (and dating guru wannabe’s) are telling you – certainly try on their advice, but don’t be bound by it.

But also know that that isn’t gospel either, and be willing to change your approach based on the path you want to walk, and the direction you’re currently headed.

There is only one question left to ask:

Has taking on the dating theory you’ve learned so far as gospel, moved you closer to your own happiness and freedom? Where do you want to go next, then?

Jonathon

I’m serious.

Here, take it. I grant you the right, by the powers vested in me by whatever. Go nuts.

What do you mean, you don’t want it?

Oh, I’m not authorised to hand out such licenses?

Wait, you’re saying that NOBODY has this kind of license to give out?

That it doesn’t exist? That I’ve gone mental?

But then, why do you kiss ass so hard with *her* in the hope of getting a license?

Don’t act coy: I know you do.

You try to make the girls (and the boys) like you, so they finally let you do what you want. I know you do because I know you’re just like me.

A while ago, I met a guy through friends.

He was a ‘pick-up artist’, a student of the techniques of seduction. I had heard of this so-called ’seduction community’ and was interested in meeting a real PUA.

I clearly remember the first time I saw him. He was talking to a group of girls, they were all laughing, and I saw him smack one on the ass.

When I met him, I asked him about it. He responded with:

“I just met her… I couldn’t have done that a few weeks ago, I’m just starting to get good at this stuff.”

And I realised that had always been my deep desire: I wanted to be about to smack a girl on the ass, and do whatever else I wanted, and just get away with it.

So from that day, I became a protege of my new ass-spanking friend.

I wanted this freedom.

I wanted this license. I was asking, what can I do to get people to give me this license?

But I was ignoring another, deeper question: what was stopping my PUA friend from smacking that ass a few weeks ago?

Was his hand broken?

Was he a completely different person? What was the REAL difference?

I suppose I didn’t ask that question because I thought the answer was obvious. After all, when people like you, when you have their love and respect, you can get away with things.

You can pull things off.

It could be something as simple as going out wearing a fedora: if people like you, you’re ‘unique’; if they don’t like you, you’re ‘a dick’.

If you’re with friends, you have the ‘halo effect’ on your side. This is an observed effect in psychology wherein if someone is perceived as ‘good’, everything he does is assumed to be good.

He can smack her ass. He can sing. He can swear. He can dance. He can flirt. And it’s all good.

You can do crazy shit, and it will be seen as funny (not crazy).

You can try bizarre things and you’ll be seen as ballsy (not bizarre).

That is why I wanted to be liked. If people like you, they’re giving you a license that says:

“Do what the fuck you want. You’ve earned this license, and we will support you, without judgement.”

When I had this, I felt completely free.

The problem is, as we’ve seen, this whole license metaphor starts sounding really stupid pretty quickly, once you look into it…

Some licenses are only applicable in certain social circles. My mates gave me this kind of license (but how many more licenses do you need to cover every other scenario in your life?).

Some licenses have small print on them: it’s not a gold class license, so I can do what I want *only* up to a point (my family gave me one of these).

Some people will probably never give me the license – either they don’t have the license to give in the first place (perhaps they never
received their own license)…

…or maybe they’re the kind of person who expects you just to take the license without asking. Perhaps they hope you will.

How long are you going to wait for your license?

And when you finally get the license, will it be conditional?

Will it be revoked if you go too far with it? Will you know how to use it, or will you have waited so long that you don’t know how to do whatever you want anymore?

I think you get the idea. In lay terms: nobody else can really give you permission to do what you want. You have to give yourself
permission first.

Sure, people can react badly to you.

Not everyone is going to like you.

You can get fired, dumped, judged or rejected – but is that anything new?

And here’s the twist: the best way to avoid these things is to go ahead and print your own license anyway.

What do you think of men who do whatever they want? They’re described as badasses, real men, strong people, driven, confident, etc.

And do women like this type of man?

The irony is delicious.

All I wanted was to get away with it, to pull it off. And it seems that no matter which way you look at it, it all starts and ends with me.

Luke (deepPlay)

How can a man attract women by watching Californication, Boston Legal and House?

To attract women, a man needs to go out in the field, and ’sarge’, right?

Well, maybe – that could be part of the equation, but hear me out for a moment.

I’m not taking the piss. And I lost the plot a long time ago. So, nothing new there.

But I’m dead serious when I say watching TV can help you attract women.

Or, at the very least, it will help you where you’re going wrong in attracting women.

Let me explain.

Remember Lew Ashby and Hank Moody from Californication, who attract women everywhere they go?

Remember Alan Shore from Boston Legal, who attracts and dates some of the most certifiable hotties on set?

And House, who, despite his self-loathing, has the wrath and yet the attention of his lovely subordinate…

Some might argue that these characters are all made-up fantasy, and therefore their success at attracting women is irrelevant.

Such people would miss the point completely. So, let’s explore this deeper and see what we can find.

Let’s ask ourselves, why do those characters attract women?

And I’m not interested in those surface, seduction community pickup artist-type answers, like “because they OWN their frame” and “because their direct game is so tight”.

Sure, they do own their frame. And their so-called direct *IS* tight. But why??

I don’t think the scriptwriters of those shows were influenced by seduction community literature when they were creating those characters.

So, what were they influenced by? Why are those characters so enigmatic? So congruent? So attractive, and yet imperfect?

Why do these men attract women DESPITE their imperfections?

Don’t know about you, but one thing that draws me in about those characters is that they are UNASHAMEDLY THEMSELVES.

They make no apologies for being themselves. They don’t dilute their sense of self in the face of social convention or for the sake of pleasantries.

It’s as if they’re coming from a central sense of SELF; a self that is deeply and intimately known to them.

A self that projects outwards and, as Jonno would say, penetrates the world everywhere they go.

They live life on their own terms. According to their own principles. With zero concern of what others think of their version of SELF.

Not because they don’t respect other people, but because they realise that what others think of their SELF is other people’s journeys.

Not theirs..

And when I say “zero concern for what others think”, I don’t mean it in a way which some people do it – like,

“I’m going to show everyone how much I don’t care about their opinion”, so they act rebellious or intentionally self-destructive.

That version of “zero concern for what others think” is just a deep desire for approval in masquerade.

No, when I say “zero concern for what others think”, I mean being so deeply caught up in following YOUR desires – because they are of importance to you – that what others think doesn’t even register on the radar.

Living your desires. Every moment of your life. Letting others live theirs. Every moment of their life.

Becoming a unique expression of self, loving it, and not apologizing for it.

We watch those characters on screen for their colour, for their humour, for their attractiveness – which all come from their unique sense of self…

We watch them as works of fiction, being led to believe that being as colourful, funny and attractive is a condition that’s reserved for characters of fiction, or rock stars, or famous writers..

And in doing so, we forget that the only difference between us and them is that, unlike them, we often don’t give ourselves the permission to be SELF.

And on that note:

Steven