We might not all be consciously aware of this drive towards authenticity…

…but inherently we value being ourselves, especially when it is easy and effortless.

Fulfillment comes from knowing what and who we are, and we seek security in this knowledge.

We want the sense of who we are to be stable…

…and we want this stability to be firmly established beyond the need for it to be shored up by external factors.

Expressing ourselves is a joy…

…especially when the expression feels truly reflective of our true selves.

It is possible to appreciate ourselves even more when we are spontaneous, rather than self-conscious, as we express ourselves authentically.

We can enjoy being creative in our lives, especially when what manifests from within us reveals what lies in our depths, expanding and deepening our experience of ourselves.

When our sense of who we are is stable, real, positive, and non-conflictual…

…we experience a sense of worth.

When we know what we want, and see that our desires authentically reflect who and what we are, our self-esteem improves, and we find ourselves enjoying truly human interactions.

The more effortlessly secure we are in being ourselves, the more we can afford to open up to others, and the more we can naturally act with generosity and magnanimity.

Then we are able to feel more in touch with our humanity, and more willing to be kind and sensitive to others.

Loving becomes a joy and a gift.

However, the moment we feel insecure in our sense of ourselves, the moment we sense that we are not centered in what and who we are, this whole picture reverses.

A heavy darkness descends on our experience; we cease to be open and generous, and we find ourselves forgetting our humanity.

We begin to feel self-centered and self-conscious, and we become anxiously and egotistically concerned about ourselves.

An obsessiveness over how we appear to others develops, and we find ourselves needing an unusual amount of admiration, approval and recognition.

Our self-esteem turns extremely fragile…

…and we find ourselves unusually vulnerable to feeling hurt and insulted over the slightest lack of understanding or empathy.

Our sense of ourselves grows shaky and, rather than coming from within, depends upon feedback from others, making us defensive.

Our actions and expressions tend to become false, inauthentic, and reactive, making it difficult to know what authentic action would really be.

Without a spontaneous and free sense of who we are, we can only feel empty and unimportant; our lives will lack meaning and significance.

Rather than expressing a sense of value and esteem…

…we find ourselves feeling worthless and ashamed.

Rather than enjoying our interactions and activities, we find ourselves beset by anger, rage and envy; instead of being generous and magnanimous, we slide towards exploiting and devaluing others.

The desire to realize and maximise the first condition and to be free from the second is natural, but as we all know this is not so easily done.

Even when a great deal of experience and maturity is brought to bear, sooner or later we discover, to our chagrin, that our effort has fallen flat.

Our of a recognition for the difficulties of this situation, and out of love for the truth, we have found it desirable to write this book…

—

Excerpt humbly borrowed from: A.H. Almaas (1996). The Point Of Existence. Shambhala Publications.

Some blondes, some brunettes. I love them all. I used to want to be able to seduce all of them, too.

Every single one. And I tried.

So, so hard … sometime successfully. Sometimes not. And then I realised just how this impacted my life.

Have you ever stood with a mate whilst he was drooling over a girl in the distance – and you felt absolutely no attraction for her?

Do you think women are any different?

We’re humans. We have our own desires, our own passions, our own dream partners.

No-one is alike and there isn’t one generic mould that everyone is looking for.

This is a pretty obvious statement, but many guys overlook its most dramatic implication for their ability to seduce women.

If you’re trying to be the kind of guy who can seduce any woman, then what kind of guy is that exactly?

Are you a loud and obnoxious “bad boy” or are you a warm and genuine alpha male?

Well, you must be both.

The guy who can seduce any woman would need to be not only those ends of the spectrum, but any other end you can think of.

Like a chameleon, he’d need to be able to slide into any mould on demand.

He’d have to be strong AND soft, deep AND shallow, accepting AND belligerent, planned AND spontaneous.

He’d have to be the kind of guy who spends his time changing the way he acts and the things he does depending on the people he’s trying to draw into his world.

He’d have to shift focus away from doing the things he loves. Take his eyes off his dreams. Stop living his own path, just so that he could “game” women – and people – into spending time with him.

And if he managed to “game” them well enough to get into a relationship with him, then he’d have to keep “gaming” them, every time they hung out together.

Why do you think famous pickup artists are not exactly known for having long-term relationships with amazing women?

Is it because their ability to have an abundance of sex eclipses the need for a relationship? Or because they are unable to “game” a woman for long enough to form a relationship?

You decide.

But in either case, does that sound like the kind of life you want to lead?

I don’t know about you, but seducing women was only the surface reason why I got into the seduction community. The real, deeper reason was to be a better Man. A real man.

And for ’seduction’ to be the by-product of that. Not the means and the end.

I hope you see the implication that if you set out to get skills to seduce every woman, you also lose focus of who you are. You’re shooting yourself in the foot when it comes to becoming a real man.

Because a real man is not a chameleon. He is Himself. Truly, unashamedly, unapologetically.

LoGun