If yes, why?

“To seduce her, of course”, you might respond. Or maybe your answer would be, “to see if she is my kind of woman”.

Either answer is fine.

Or you may have a completely different reason altogether for approaching women.

That is fine, also.

But those reasons are only skin deep. To become much, much better at approaching women, and actually seducing them, I’d encourage you to think a little deeper.

So, let me ask you again:

Why are you approaching women?

To help you with the answer, let me rephrase: what MEANING are you attaching to the word “WOMAN”?

And, what are you hoping to gain by the action of “SEDUCING” her?

Depending on where you’re at in your life, a desire to become “successful with women” may mean many different things to you.

For example, it may mean:

- impressing your friends with your skills
- getting sex
- freedom from loneliness
- caring for someone

There are no good or bad answers there, so don’t punish yourself if one answer there jumps out at you more than others.

The important part is becoming aware of YOUR reasons.

Know thyself.

(As Socrates said once. Or maybe it was Jonno?).

The reason it’s important is because your reasons will inform everything else:

- what you say to a woman,
- how you stand,
- how you talk,
- whether you approach the woman in an “alpha male” way or in an apologetic manner
- whether you become sexual with her or fall into a “friends zone”

And as you’re probably starting to see, changing your purpose is a lot easier than trying to change a manipulate a muriad of these surface-level “symptoms”.

How to change your purpose is a topic for a whole new post. But step one is knowing what your purpose is RIGHT now.

So, until next time, I leave you with this thought:

Why are you approaching women?

Steven

And some natural game at Pickup101.

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You owe it to yourself.

You owe it to yourself to sit in front of the computer for hours trying to memorise the next step in the sequence.

You owe it to yourself to repress your core, masculine self under layers and layers of someone else’s personality.

An most importantly, you owe it to yourself to blame someone else in the world for where you are now and why you haven’t got the success you want.

Because it’s not until you realise that-

-There’s no easy way out

That there’s no magic bullet, and you’re ready to take responsibility for where you are and the issues you face in your life…

That you’re going to be ready to see that there is some deeper stuff going on.

Until that point in time, you’re still going to be wondering,

“Do I really have to go through all this stuff? Do I really have to look inside?

“Do I really have to dig into excuses that I’ve been feeding myself for so many years to see that they’re solely my creation?”

And you’re not going to be committed to real change.

You’re going to have one foot out the door, you’re going to hold back in the exercises, and you’re not going to get the life transforming results that you’ve been looking for.

You’re not going to see the barriers that you’ve been using to sabotage your own success, just melt away.

You’re not going to experience the complete social freedom and feel the uncontrollable joy that you’ve been searching for.

And you’re not going to wake up next to the smiling faces of those beautiful women you’ve been watching from the sidelines for so long.

So please, go and “learn” how to seduce women – rather becoming the kind of real man who women flock to.

Learn how to put a bandaid after bandaid on top of your fears to have them rear their ugly head when you least expect it…

…Rather than dissolving them..

So that they’re never part of your life again.

And hide your true self away until you’ve proven to yourself that that’s never going to get you what you want.

Then, we can talk.

LoGun

“And when you can’t anymore, absolutely commit yourself to love, because you know that the easy way out leads to suffering: it *IS* suffering.” – David Deida

Identity; Who you are.

Or is it?

I mean, who are you, really? We tend to cling to that, which identifies us: what we do, who we are with, what we stand for, how many women we’ve seduced.

But more than just cling to it, we also seek ways of expanding that identity as well – more money, more women, more self-help, better career, more “stuff”.

And this pursuit, sometimes (or a lot of the time) is at the expense of many things: health, our function, our ability, friendships, relationships, family…

Think of all the things you’ve sacrificed in the name of something to do with your identity (a great stereotypical example is the overly busy corporate CEO).

We sometimes even convince ourselves that we do it for the greater good.

The real reason is that we do it to solidify our identity even more.

And why would we do that?

I suggest that it is to outdo all the other identity’s that surround us. To be better than; superior; alpha.

And specifically for our community: to be recognised as awesome.

We discover our unhappiness, and attempt to do the easiest thing possible to remove that unhappiness, and to feel happy again.

But in this easy quest for happiness, we continually look outside of ourselves for those answers, for it is easier for us to get the answer from somewhere else, than to look inside and create it for ourselves.

Just like Deida says – (we) keep taking the easy way out.

Sooner or later (I hope) we will realise the folly of this: that no lasting happiness or fulfillment will ever come from object, person, or thing.

But this is the curse of our identity.

Wear your identity out – take it as far as it can go. If you identify your life by the job that you do, then be that job fully.

Take it to its extreme – show up early and stay back late, sacrifice time with your family and loved ones to be at work; keep doing it until you can’t do it any longer.

Keep chasing tail until you can’t chase it any longer.

Keep doing these things until you learn for yourself that the path of your identity has never satisfied you, but more than that, WILL never satisfy you.

Once you learn this for yourself, you will have worn your identity out, like a pair of work-boots that have seen WAY too many jobsites, or the schoolbag that just can’t hold those books any longer.

Once that identity of yours has been worn out, you will have two options:

Pick another identity and pursue it with all your heart (and I am certainly one who is guilty of having done that in the past, and who is still prone to doing it to this day)…

OR

Find your life in something greater than who you think you are (your identity).

In the words of Deida – dedicate yourself to love.

Love of self.
Love of women.
Love of life.
Love of being.

When your life stops being about solidifying your identity above all else, you will find out just how delicious life is.

When you stop trying to cover up the symptoms of your unhappiness with your identity, and start living life from your core as a gift to those around you, you will KNOW how incredible this place we call reality is.

Jonathon

Some blondes, some brunettes. I love them all. I used to want to be able to seduce all of them, too.

Every single one. And I tried.

So, so hard … sometime successfully. Sometimes not. And then I realised just how this impacted my life.

Have you ever stood with a mate whilst he was drooling over a girl in the distance – and you felt absolutely no attraction for her?

Do you think women are any different?

We’re humans. We have our own desires, our own passions, our own dream partners.

No-one is alike and there isn’t one generic mould that everyone is looking for.

This is a pretty obvious statement, but many guys overlook its most dramatic implication for their ability to seduce women.

If you’re trying to be the kind of guy who can seduce any woman, then what kind of guy is that exactly?

Are you a loud and obnoxious “bad boy” or are you a warm and genuine alpha male?

Well, you must be both.

The guy who can seduce any woman would need to be not only those ends of the spectrum, but any other end you can think of.

Like a chameleon, he’d need to be able to slide into any mould on demand.

He’d have to be strong AND soft, deep AND shallow, accepting AND belligerent, planned AND spontaneous.

He’d have to be the kind of guy who spends his time changing the way he acts and the things he does depending on the people he’s trying to draw into his world.

He’d have to shift focus away from doing the things he loves. Take his eyes off his dreams. Stop living his own path, just so that he could “game” women – and people – into spending time with him.

And if he managed to “game” them well enough to get into a relationship with him, then he’d have to keep “gaming” them, every time they hung out together.

Why do you think famous pickup artists are not exactly known for having long-term relationships with amazing women?

Is it because their ability to have an abundance of sex eclipses the need for a relationship? Or because they are unable to “game” a woman for long enough to form a relationship?

You decide.

But in either case, does that sound like the kind of life you want to lead?

I don’t know about you, but seducing women was only the surface reason why I got into the seduction community. The real, deeper reason was to be a better Man. A real man.

And for ’seduction’ to be the by-product of that. Not the means and the end.

I hope you see the implication that if you set out to get skills to seduce every woman, you also lose focus of who you are. You’re shooting yourself in the foot when it comes to becoming a real man.

Because a real man is not a chameleon. He is Himself. Truly, unashamedly, unapologetically.

LoGun