What Do You REALLY Think About Yourself?

by Leigh (LoGun) on August 19, 2010 · No Comments

Have you ever heard of confirmation bias?

It’s a psychology term used to describe the way we filter out any information which doesn’t support how we see the world and allow in everything that does.

It’s a pretty nifty little trick that our minds use to make us feel good.

And it’s pretty good at it too!

But it’s also really good at hiding the underlying causes of what could be holding you back from having amazing relationships with women. And here’s why:

If you’ve been reading this blog for any period of time now, I’m sure you’re aware that your limited success with women has very little to do with not having the ‘right’ thing to say..

..or performing the ‘correct’ action at the ‘correct time.

It’s all about you.

It’s all about how you feel and how you see yourself and the world.

The reason that confirmation bias is such a hindrance to getting this area of your life under control is that it can actually prevent you from noticing how you really feel and how you see yourself and the world.

Instead of allowing you to really see what’s going on inside your mind, your confirmation bias will filter out any information that doesn’t support the view that you think you have instead of allowing you to see the view you really have.

I’ll give you an example. Do you enjoy your own company? Most people will say “yes” here and be able to provide a whole bunch of evidence to support this view.

They could recite the numerous times they’ve spent on their own and enjoyed themselves. That’s fine.

There’s nothing wrong with that.

But consider this:

When was the last time you were with a group of people and walked away to spend time on your own because you enjoyed it more?

When was the last time you laughed out loud at your own jokes even though no-one else got them?

When was the last time you turned down invitations to hang out with people because you had something else you really wanted to do by yourself?

When was the last time you stopped participating in a conversation and just sat with your thoughts because the topic no longer interested you?

If you really enjoyed your own company, I’m sure at least some of these would’ve come up frequently for you.

So, do you really think you enjoy your own company?

Sure, your logical mind might tell you that you do but what do your actions say?

This is the trick to getting around your confirmation bias and finding out what’s really going on underneath. To work out what’s really going on, you need to look deeper than your thoughts and look down to your actions.

Despite what you think you think about yourself, what are you actions telling you about what you think about yourself. For instance:

Do you think you’re attractive?

Maybe yes, maybe no… Here’s some questions that you might want to consider.

Do you express yourself fully and freely around beautiful women?

Would someone who truly believed they were attractive hide themselves away when they were talking to people?

Do you allow other peoples perceptions of your attractiveness effect how you feel?

Would someone who truly believed they were attractive allow other peoples perceptions dictate how they felt?

And the big one – do you change who you are and what you do what you meet someone you find attractive?

Have a look at how you act around people you don’t find attractive and people you do. What’s different?

What could this be telling you?

When you really look down beneath the stories that you logical mind feeds you, you find some pretty interesting things.

Here’s another one: do you accept yourself? And how can you tell?

Well, do you hide parts of who you are and what you stand for?

Would someone who accepts themselves hide themselves away? Do you stand up for what you believe in in every moment?

Would someone who accepts themselves let other peoples views hold them back from expressing their own?

Do you change who you are so that other people will like you? Would someone who accepts themselves do that?

Remember, it’s not the thoughts that are going to illuminate what’s going on for you, it’s the actions which will really open your eyes.

These are just a couple of examples that might help you see what’s really preventing you from having the success that you’re looking for.

I’m sure that if you sat down and thought about it, you could come up with a whole lot of other ideas. And when you do, don’t ask your logical mind to provide you with evidence, check in with your actions.

They’ll show you what’s really preventing you from having incredible relationships with amazing women.

LoGun