Why I Don’t Believe In Dating Rules.

by Leigh (LoGun) on August 8, 2009 · No Comments

There are 3 reasons why I don’t believe in dating rules, and they are:

1) Every rule that has ever been made has been bent, manipulated, and then broken. Every dating rule.

“Don’t show interest before she has, don’t chase her, don’t date, don’t buy her gifts, don’t, don’t, don’t…”

This was the one thing that always jarred with me: if a ‘natural’ can break any rule made, why cant I?

2) The most amazing dates you ever have are not the ones you have when you’re inside your head, thinking.

They happen when you’re totally immersed inside the conversation. And you’re not thinking at all.

How can you ever hope to achieve this when you’re stuck inside your head thinking about what you should and shouldn’t be doing?

3) I believe that the thing we desire more than anything in this world is freedom. Not personal freedom from persecution, but pure and uninhibited expression of our inner self.

The only thing that rules do is take us further away from this so why would you bother?

There are so many other things in this world that are design to stop you from purely expressing yourself so why would you actively participate in another one?

Rules train you to not listen to your deep seeded desires. And they actually prevent you from getting in touch with your true self.

If you’re not in touch with your deep inner self, how can you ever hope to express it?

I should clarify that I don’t believe your true self has fears or doubts or concerns as they are a construct of social conditioning.

I don’t believe your true self is inherently angry, depressed, or manipulative as these are a product of your socialisation. You may experience negative feelings but they are not your natural state.

A lot of people say that newbies to the dating community should use rules – so they don’t make common mistakes. But from what I’ve seen, the biggest mistake a newbie can make is trying to be something that he’s not.

Now I’m sure that someone’s going to chime in with “aren’t you just making a rule that you have to be yourself?”

No, I’m not.

If you want to live by rules and limitations on your actions then it’s your choice.

But if you find that you’re not achieving the freedom that you so deeply desire, then you may want to look at the rules you’re placing around yourself and work out how they’re preventing you form achieving your freedom.

So what do you replace rules with? Understanding.

When a guy has an empowering understanding of the nature of masculinity and femininity, rules become obsolete.

The only reason rules were invented in the first place is because people didn’t understand what was going on so they felt it necessary to create these rules to explain what was going on.

And to tame the side effects which result from repressing parts of yourself with rules.

Once you have an empowering understanding, rules are completely unnecessary.

LoGun