Why You Should Be Externally Validated.

by Leigh (LoGun) on November 6, 2009 · No Comments

be externally validated - why I like external validation I have a secret to tell you-

I like external validation. It feels really good.

And not just a little bit good, but a lot.

I know there’s a lot of community “gurus” telling you that you shouldn’t be externally validated…

But I completely disagree – and let me show you why.

I remember getting all the feedback from guys who finished the last MasterClass…

Guys were saying to me that their lives were transformed. They said that they loved me .. presumably in a non-gay kind of way.

And you know what? It felt good. And not just a little bit good, but REALLY good.

It felt good to know that I helped a bunch of cool dudes take one step closer to their dreams.

It felt good to know that I helped guys move beyond all the bullshit barriers that were placed upon them as part of growing up…

But most of all, it felt good to know that all the hard work I’d put in over the last 3 years was worth it.

It felt good to know that my work was worth something, and I liked it.

If it felt that good, then why would I want to eliminate that part of me?

Why would I want to push a very real part of myself down?

How much closer and I going to move to that incredible, powerful, amazing guy I have locked inside if I just put another barrier on top of that part of me?

“But it makes me needy and attached to the outcome!”

Ahh… Does it? Here’s the secret you need to know.

Feeling good when you have this smokin’ hot woman all over you, and your mates are dragging their jaws on the floor at the sight of her with you doesn’t cause you ANY issues.

It’s only when you rely on that for your sense of happiness and self-worth, that it’s going to cause issues.

If you think that the only way you can feel happy, fulfilled and worthy in your life is when…

Your mates approve of your girlfriend…

And when your Mum approves of your job…

Then you’re probably going to spend the rest of your life chasing someone else’s dreams and feeling empty and lost.

[Steven edit: What if I was to get *YOUR* mum to approve of my girlfriend .. would that work better? ;) ]

And worse than that, you’re going to push the very things you’re chasing away from you, because you’re relying on them to make you happy.

You’re being needy and clingy and women are not going to want to have any part of it.

But, If you spend your life doing the things that make you happy and bringing the people into your life that you’re attracted to, then it’ll still feel good when you’re mates can’t believe how smoking hot your girlfriend is…

But you won’t need that to feel happy.

And because your life is happy and fulfilling WITHOUT the need for externally validation, do you think those smoking hot women are more likely to want to be a part of it?

So I say ‘Be externally validated!’. If it feels good, go for it, but if you *RELY* on it to make your life feel worthwhile, then you’re just trapping yourself in an endless cycle of disappointment and neediness.

Bring your own happiness into your life.

Find the things you love and do them all the time.

Fill your life with happiness and joy, and when that smoking hot little thing you’ve always wanted stops by, share your happiness with her.

But just don’t get it in her eyes, they hate that ;-)

LoGun

P.S. Here’s some of that feedback which made me feel externally validated ;) Vaaaaaalidattteee me.

On being more open with women and more:

One guys becoming assholes. And more ;)

On going from scatterbrain to being being calm & cool..