Worried About What Women Think Of You?

by Jonathon on October 6, 2009 · No Comments

worried about what others think Here’s a tip to stop you caring about what others think about you – give up you.

Whilst giving up you does mean giving up your wants, needs, and tendencies, it also means giving up your insecurities, fears, and shames.

And without one, the other cannot exist.

There have been many times that I’ve been aware of the opportunity to “give up me”.

And, until recently, I always thought the most obvious option was to keep on soldiering on my quest for self-gratification.

Just this week though, I tried the other option: I gave up me. It was the greatest relief of my life.

Here’s what’s happened since then.

In living for others, going out is no longer a chore or an effort – because I’m no longer there for me.

I don’t need to fight the tough battle of acceptance. Acceptance and what others think of me is no longer part of my life.

I no longer have to constantly perform to make sure people are looking at, acknowledging, or validating me.

Instead, I am there for others.

And my purpose revolves around being whoever I need to be to ensure everybody is having an awesome night.

This means doing a number of things I rarely used to do:

- being more aware of my surroundings,

- actually listening to people (not just their words, but everything from them), and

- really getting to the core of who they are.

I no longer care what other people think about me, I care what they think about themselves.

All of a sudden, my conversations with people were instantly more engaging.

Connection is almost immediate (since there’s no me in the equation, there are no boundaries to me either), and there is no room for pretense anymore.

The most counter-intuitive thing, however, is that more people want to be around me.

So in giving up me, I’ve actually started to enjoy the very thing that I was striving for when I was being all about me.

So yes, there is a price, I had to really give up getting what I want (not pretend to give up: ACTUALLY give up).

But when I thought about it, getting what I wanted has never really satisfied me: it’s just made me want more, and has lead to me feeling worse when I couldn’t achieve that “more”.

Perhaps you are the same as well.

Has anything you’ve ever claimed for yourself, anything you’ve ever achieved, lead to a lasting fulfillment beyond the couple of weeks after the fact?

Maybe you’ll enjoy life more when you give that up.

It’s something to think about, anyway.

Jonathon